On the first visit to his in-laws

[Bassim]

Have I made any mistakes?

On the first visit to his in-laws, John was asked about his family.
"I haven't any left," he replied. "My father died of a heart attack when I was twelve, and my mother of cancer three years later."
"How terrible!" his mother-in-law said. "It must have been a nightmare to lose both parents at such a young age. How did you deal with it?"
"Of course, it was a shock, but life goes on," John said. "You have to mature faster than your peers if you want to survive, and you learn to find the strength within yourself."

"But now you're not alone any more. You have us," his father-in-law, a jovial man with the flabby, flushed cheeks said and toasted with a glass of champagne.

John nodded and smiled, and his look wandered from crystal glasses to a grand piano in the corner, to the thick carpets, to the large portraits in gold frames, and his mind had already started to hatch a plan how to take money from these people, who had it plenty, and then run away, leaving their beautiful daughter in tears, and hopefully pregnant. It was a kind of sport for him to spill his seed over the rich, and abandon them to their misery.

 

[teechar]

1- You need a "the" in your last paragraph. Try to work out where.
2- Change "looks" to another word.
3- Tweak "who had it plenty".
4- Tweak (slightly) "abandon them to their misery.

 

[Bassim]

I believe the corrections should be like this.

1. "from the crystal glasses."
2. "his eyes wandered"
3. "who had plenty of it"
4. "abandon them to misery"

 

[teechar]

I believe the corrections should be like this.

1. "from the crystal glasses."

Yes. By the way, I'm assuming the reference is to the glasses of champagne they were drinking. If not, then no article is needed.

2. "his eyes wandered"
3. "who had plenty of it"
4. "abandon them to misery"

Right.

 

[Tarheel]

Perhaps:

"You're not alone anymore. You have us," his father-in-law, a jovial man with flabby flushed cheeks said, and he then offered a champagne toast. "To family!" he said.