[Grammar] Please, check my motivation letter for grammar mistakes!

[HaeWoon]

Dear XXX Selection Committee,

Since I grew up in the province until I was 21, I could gain information about Xxx University(XX) and studied only through internet in order to enter the university. I chose computer science as my major because I wanted to be a developer making software which has attractive advantages in making it easy for people to communicate with others without limitation of distance and doing tasks in a better way than in the past or an human can’t do under normal circumstances.

For the past three years I have learned several basic computer and software skills at XX, with course about such as C, Java, Android, Date Structure, Algorithm and Software Engineering and I was interested especially in Android App development and Date Structure course. I started to study both computer science and business management in second semester of my sophomore year taking courses like Marketing, HR and MIS, which was impressive when it comes to a computerized information used to provide companies effectiveness of strategic decision making. There are some reasons to do my double major. To begin with, I wanted to get academic knowledge of the management of company and interconnection in the group. Moreover, algorithm competitions and software contests, I want to do manage overall IT project of an organization after graduation because I have enjoyed group activities working towards a common goal such as group projects in courses as a student. To be specific, what I want to work in is to set up outstanding systems in my country into new countries. As example of this type of works, my country has succeeded in ranking first in both the e-Government Development Index and e-Participation Index of the U.N. Survey 2012 and one of task I’ll want to do is to support a number of countries knocking on the door to import its technology by establishing an IT infrastructure as a developer. I believe that studying both skills in computer science major and management of organization as business management major will assist to make me an international project manager.

However, There was the impetus for realizing that I need to experience another significant fields for achieving my career of goal as well to study my major. I applied for volunteers program and taught employees of University of ABC about Linux administration for a month last summer. After going to there, I began to appreciate my dreams more deeply. It is really hard to move toward successful completion of project with people from diverse cultures speaking different language even though both teams intend same output and have strong technical skills. For my future career, I have to be able to communicate fluently as I have opportunities to use more English and there are wide perspectives I need to experience in order to have understanding of the global project. This program is important for me to gain the above qualities, so I made plans to apply for student exchange program program I can apply for as student of the university and have studied TOEFL and English conversation.

Though all courses such as an internationalized curriculum in CS, The Global Classroom share ideas correctly, Language and culture education, internship offered this program will assist me work toward my professional goals, based on my research of potential universities, I would like to express my strong interest for participation at YYY in the winter of 2016 best. My first reason for this choice is that English is the universal spoken language in YYY's country. I have to be capable of doing the project in English because more and more multinational companies are mandating English as the common corporate language. For this, I am going to live in sharing house with foreign friends during the summer semester in Korea so that I improve my spoken English and study continuously major-related topics in English during the winter semester in Dublin this year. Other reason is that YYY's country is emerging as a global technology hub. Consequently, YYY's country has its storng reputation as one of most felicitous centers for high technology businesses in the world. The ICT sector in YYY's country today account for more than 34% of total exports and is one of the key industries supporting the YYY's country's economy because the government has provided several incentives for FDI and other investments in the YYY's country's ICT industry. Thus there are a lot of talent developers, which can gives me a chance to learn a number important skills needed in my field.

I believe that challenge is a vital port of life. The the program term will enable me not only enlarge my professional knowledge, but also enrich my abilities in the ICT field. Thus, I would highly appreciate the opportunity to be invited for personal interview.

Yours faithfully,
my name.


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I really appreciate your concern ;-)
have a nice day!

 

[teechar]

Dear XXX Selection Committee,

Since I grew up in a remote rural area until I was 21, I studied by distance education in order to enter the university. I chose computer science as my major because I wanted to be a developer making software for people to communicate with others without the limitation of distance.

Over the past three years, I have learned several basic computer and software skills at XX, including C, Java, Android, Data Structures, Algorithm and Software Engineering, and I was interested especially in Android App development and Data Structures. I started to study both computer science and business management in the second semester of my sophomore year, taking courses like Marketing, HR and MIS, which is useful for providing companies with computerized information used for effective strategic decision making. I chose to do a double major for a couple of reasons. To begin with, I wanted to learn management concepts and interpersonal skills. Moreover, I want to manage IT projects of an organization because I have enjoyed group activities working towards a common goal. To be specific, I wish to set up outstanding IT systems in my country that extend into other countries. For example, my country ranks first in both the e-Government Development Index and the e-Participation Index of the U.N. Survey, 2012, and one area I'm interested in is providing support to a number of countries knocking on the door to import this technology by establishing an IT infrastructure as a developer. I believe that studying both skills in computer science and business management will help me become an effective international project manager.

To gain further experience and to serve in the community, I worked as a volunteer teaching employees of the University of ABC about Linux administration for a month last summer.

For my future career, I have to be able to communicate fluently in English in order to work on international projects. This program will help me acquire those important language skills. Thus, I would like to participate in YYY in the winter of 2016. I have already started working on improving my English, and I intend to study IT-related topics in English during the winter semester in Dublin this year.

Another motivation for me is that ABC is a global technology hub with a strong reputation as a center for high-tech international companies. The ICT sector in ABC today accounts for more than 34% of total exports and is one of the key industries supporting ABC's economy. Thus, there are a lot of talented developers from whom I can learn a number important skills needed in my field.

I believe that challenge is a vital port of life. This program will enable me not only to improve my professional knowledge, but also to enrich my abilities in the ICT management field. Thus, I would highly appreciate the opportunity to be invited for personal interview.

Yours faithfully,
my name.