Sophie took a final drag from the cigarette and stubbed it out.

[alpacinou]

Is this correct and natural?

Sophie took a final drag from the cigarette and stubbed it out. Her room had been clouded by a pall of cigarette smoke. She checked the pack in the hopes of lighting up another but it was empty. Squeezing it, she stood up and opened the window. Beyond a tunnel of plane trees, dark clouds were piling up at the horizon.

A hissing sound emanated from downstairs. She closed the window and focused, brows farrowed. The hissing got louder as Sophie rushed downstairs. Running into the kitchen, she realized the pressure cooker was the source of the sound. She shook her head and muttered, "Goddamn it!", angry at herself for forgetting she'd set the pressure cooker an hour earlier to make lentil stew.

She walked to the sink, rummaging through a pile of dirty glass to find a clean one, to no avail. She grabbed a dirty glass and began washing it when the pressure cooker screamed, steam roaring out of its release vent. Suddenly, it exploded, catapulting its lid into the air, and splashing a mix of boiling water and lentil onto the ceiling. The lid slammed onto the floor with a loud bang as Sophie stared wide-eyed at lentil stew dripping from the ceiling of her kitchen.

 

[Tarheel]

Is this correct and natural?

Sophie took a final drag from the cigarette and stubbed it out. Her room had been clouded by a pall of cigarette smoke. She checked the pack in the hopes of lighting up another but it was empty. Squeezing it, she stood up and opened the window. Beyond a tunnel of pine trees, dark clouds were piling up at the horizon.

A hissing sound emanated from downstairs. She closed the window and focused, brows furrowed. The hissing got louder as Sophie rushed downstairs. Running into the kitchen, she realized the pressure cooker was the source of the sound. She shook her head and muttered, "Goddamn it!", angry at herself for forgetting she'd set the pressure cooker an hour earlier to make lentil stew.

She walked to the sink, rummaging through a pile of dirty glasses to find a clean one, to no avail. She grabbed a dirty glass and began washing it when the pressure cooker screamed, steam roaring out of its release vent. Suddenly, it exploded, catapulting its lid into the air, and splashing a mix of boiling water and lentil onto the ceiling. The lid slammed onto the floor with a loud bang as Sophie stared wide-eyed at lentil stew dripping from the ceiling of her kitchen.

I like the ending. Poor Sophie!


I didn't know what you meant by plane trees". Although I changed it to pine trees, I'm not sure if that's what you meant.

 

[5jj]

Platanus - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[alpacinou]

Sophie took a final drag from the cigarette and stubbed it out. Her room had been clouded by a pall of cigarette smoke. She checked the pack in the hopes of lighting up another but it was empty. Squeezing it, she stood up and opened the window. Beyond a tunnel of pine trees, dark clouds were piling up at the horizon.

A hissing sound emanated from downstairs. She closed the window and focused, brows furrowed. The hissing got louder as Sophie rushed downstairs. Running into the kitchen, she realized the pressure cooker was the source of the sound. She shook her head and muttered, "Goddamn it!", angry at herself for forgetting she'd set the pressure cooker an hour earlier to make lentil stew.

She walked to the sink, rummaging through a pile of dirty glasses to find a clean one, to no avail. She grabbed a dirty glass and began washing it when the pressure cooker screamed, steam roaring out of its release vent. Suddenly, it exploded, catapulting its lid into the air, and splashing a mix of boiling water and lentil onto the ceiling. The lid slammed onto the floor with a loud bang as Sophie stared wide-eyed at lentil stew dripping from the ceiling of her kitchen.

Are the bold parts the only mistakes?

 

[emsr2d2]

Sophie took a final drag from the her cigarette and stubbed it out. Her room had been clouded by a pall of was cloudy with cigarette smoke. She checked the pack (BrE would use "packet") in the hopes of lighting up another but it was empty. Squeezing Crushing it, she stood up and opened the window. Beyond a tunnel of plane trees, dark clouds were piling up at the horizon.

A hissing sound emanated from downstairs. She closed the window and focused, brows [her] brow furrowed. The hissing got louder as Sophie rushed downstairs. Running into the kitchen, she realized the sound was coming from the pressure cooker. was the source of the sound. She shook her head and muttered, "Goddamn it!", angry at herself for forgetting she'd set the pressure cooker an hour earlier to make lentil stew.

She walked to the sink, rummaging through a pile of dirty glasses to find a clean one, to no avail. She grabbed a dirty glass and began washing it when the pressure cooker screamed, steam roaring out of its release vent. Suddenly, it exploded, catapulting its lid into the air, and splashing a mix of boiling water and lentil stew onto the ceiling. The lid slammed onto the floor with a loud bang as Sophie stared wide-eyed at lentil stew dripping from the ceiling. of her kitchen.

Note my suggested changes above. The only actual errors were "brows" and "glass".

I'm a bit confused about the relevance of two things, though:
1) Why does it matter that there were dark clouds on the horizon?
2) Why did she suddenly start looking for a clean glass instead of dealing with the pressure cooker?

 

[alpacinou]

1) Why does it matter that there were dark clouds on the horizon?
2) Why did she suddenly start looking for a clean glass instead of dealing with the pressure cooker?

1. I will mention clouds and rain later in the story.
2. She thought the pressure cooker was okay. They usually make a loud hissing sound. What happened next was an accident. She wasn't expecting it. This happened to a friend of mind.

 

[Tarheel]

@alpacinou What a mess that must have been!