Taking a nap on the bus

[English4everyone]

I was tired and taking a nap on the bus, I missed the stop where I wanted to get off.
I hope you can understand what I'm trying to say. I know my sentence isn't natural. Can you help me with what I'm trying to say.

 

[Skrej]

I was tired and taking a nap on the bus, I missed the stop where I wanted to get off.

Simplify it to something like "I missed my stop because I was napping on the bus."

 

[Tdol]

I dozed off on the bus and missed my stop.

 

[Matthew Wai]

"I missed my stop because I was napping on the bus."

I think 'because I was' can be omitted, but I am not a teacher.

 

[Polyester]

Simplify it to something like "I missed my stop because I was napping on the bus."

I think, is it ok?
"I missed my stop because I napped on the bus."?

 

[Matthew Wai]

I consider the continuous tense better because the speaker was napping while s/he missed it, but I am not a teacher.

 

[Rover_KE]

Whilst not the best option, the original sentence can be made good by the addition of a comma:

'I was tired, and taking a nap on the bus, I missed the stop where I wanted to get off.'

 

[emsr2d2]

I would put the comma after "and" and before "taking" in that sentence.

 

[Matthew Wai]

'I was tired, and taking a nap on the bus, I missed the stop where I wanted to get off.'

Should a conjunction such as 'so' be added before 'I missed'? Or is it an acceptable comma splice?

 

[Tdol]

I think, is it ok?
"I missed my stop because I napped on the bus."?

It is OK, but I prefer was napping.

 

[Raymott]

Should a conjunction such as 'so' be added before 'I missed'? Or is it an acceptable comma splice?

The sentence is correct as it stands. There's no comma splice in "'I was tired and, taking a nap on the bus, I missed the stop where I wanted to get off.'

 

[Matthew Wai]

'I was tired and, taking a nap on the bus, I missed the stop where I wanted to get off.'
Are the black and red parts two independent clauses?

 

[Raymott]

Yes. There's a clause ("I was tired"), a participial phrase joined to it by a conjunction "Taking a nap on the bus", then the two clauses in red.
Would you accept, "Taking a nap on the bus, I missed the stop where I wanted to get off" as a correct sentence? If so, you can add the previous clause plus a conjunction.

 

[tedmc]

Doesn't "taking a nap" imply a deliberate action? I would have thought that "doze off", which is something done unintentionally, would be more appropriate in the context.

 

[Matthew Wai]

I think the context already suggests that it was unintentional, but I am not a teacher.

 

[Tdol]

Doesn't "taking a nap" imply a deliberate action? I would have thought that "doze off", which is something done unintentionally, would be more appropriate in the context.

I used dozed in my version for that reason.