"The maps depict how an industrial area in Norbiton, a town, is currently and how it will be after..."

[hardyweineberg]

This is my IELTS essay, and I have a few questions.

The maps depict how an industrial area in Norbiton, a town, is currently and how it will be after development.

Overall, it is clear that there are plans to transform the industrial area into a residential area with amenities such as shops and a playground. Also, the road infrastructure in this area will be improved.

At present, the area in question has a river and farmland at its northern end, a town at its western end, and a road with a roundabout in its southern part. This road is lined with factories.

After development, however, the factories will have been replaced with houses. Additionally, the road will be extended northward, and a bridge will be built over the river so that the road can be extended to the northernmost part of the area. It is worth noting that shops, a medical centre, a playground, and a school will be constructed along the road, and that a new roundabout will be added. Although a lot of changes are going to be occur, the town is will remain unchanged.

1) Is it correct to say "road infrastructure of this area"?

2) Is the first sentence in my third paragraph grammatically correct?

3) And is "in the northernmost part of the area" a good synonym for "at the northern end"?

4) Is it correct to say that "a river has a bridge"?

5) Is along the right preposition to use in that sentence?

6) Is it right to use "occur" in the last sentence?

 

[teechar]

The maps depict how an industrial area in Norbiton, a town, is currently looks, and how it will be after some future development in that part of the town.

Overall, it is clear that there are plans to transform the industrial area is to be transformed into a residential area with amenities such as shops and a playground. Also, the road infrastructure in this area will be improved.

At present, the area in question has a river and farmland at its northern end, a part of the town at its western end, and a road with a roundabout in its southern part. This road is lined with factories.

After As part of the development, however, the factories will [ 1] have been be replaced with houses. Additionally, the road will be extended northward, and a bridge will be built over the river, connecting so that the road can be extended to the northernmost part of the area. It is worth noting that Furthermore, shops, a medical centre, a playground, and a school will be constructed along the road, and that a new roundabout will be added. Although a lot of changes are going to [ 2] be occur, Finally, the section of town at the western edge of the area [ 2] is will remain unchanged.
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[ 1]: Your mixing of “will have been” and “will be” does not work. Just use the future simple.

[ 2]: “be occur” and “is will” are no good! ALWAYS go over your own work before submitting it. Silly mistakes like that can cost you valuable marks in the exam.