THE TOWN CENTRE: CURRENT SITUATION

[laluuuusii]

“There has been a decrease in the number of people shopping in the town centre and now the town council has asked for proposals on how to improve this situation. In your proposal, you should briefly state what you think were the reasons for this decrease, explain what impact this has had on the town centre and suggest what can be done to encourage more people to shop there”.

THE TOWN CENTRE : CURRENT SITUATION
Small retailers are suffering a plight due to a reduced number of consumers in the town centre. This proposal analyzes its causes and suggests ways to ameliorate its consequences.

REASONS FOR THE DECREASE
It stands to reason opening a huge shopping centre in the outskirts would be detrimental to shops located downtown. It has state-of-the-art facilities. For this, residents opt for it as opposed to going to the centre, where shops are more disperse into the bargain.

EFFECT ON THE TOWN CENTRE
Citizens have observed the streets in this area are insidiously more empty, leading shops to close. There is a lack of a welcoming atmosphere, which is inextricably linked with the new mall.

POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS
If we aim to revivify the town centre, we will have to come up with something innovative. For instance, an exhibition. It will attract a mass of people, and we can rest assured they will take advantage and enter some shops. Other attainable options are opening an ice cream shop or a café, which will embrace citizens and they will fill the streets, included the shops placed there.

CONCLUSION
To summarize, this situation arised as a result of opening a mall, leaving the overcrowded centre empty. To solve this, people must be attracted to it by announcing an exhibition or somewhere to eat.
I hope this proposal is felicitously phrased so that it is taken into account in the event of taking action.

 

[Tarheel]

I think the thing those small retailers are suffering from is a loss in business.

It has state of art facilities.

I assume that refers that refers to the new shopping mall. What are some of those state of the art facilities?

where shops are more disperse into the bargain

I guess that means they don't have one stop shopping there.

The "overcrowding" problem has been solved. They should be happy.

 

[laluuuusii]

I think the thing those small retailers are suffering from is a loss in business.

It has state of art facilities.

I assume that refers that refers to the new shopping mall. What are some of those state of the art facilities?

where shops are more disperse into the bargain

I guess that means they don't have one stop shopping there.

The "overcrowding" problem has been solved. They should be happy.

I just refer to the facilities of the mall to explain it is understandable people prefer it . But the writing is not about the shopping centre. I would start to beat about the bush if I wrote about them too much. Besides this, it’s true “overcrowded” is a rather negative term, but I considered the more people there were wandering around the town centre the more they would buy things. Consequently, the shops would be more successful.

 

[tedmc]

“There has been a decrease in the number of people shopping in the town centre and now the town council has asked for proposals on how to improve this situation. In your proposal, you should briefly state what you think were the reasons for this decrease, explain what impact this has had on the town centre and suggest what can be done to encourage more people to shop there”.

THE TOWN CENTRE : CURRENT SITUATION
Small retailers are suffering a plight due to a reduced number of consumers in the town centre. This proposal analyzes its causes and suggests ways to ameliorate its consequences.

REASONS FOR THE DECREASE
It stands to reason opening a huge shopping centre in the outskirts would be detrimental to shops located downtown. It has state-of-the-art facilities. For this, residents opt for it as opposed to going to the centre, where shops are more disperse into the bargain.

EFFECT ON THE TOWN CENTRE
Citizens have observed the streets in this area are insidiously more empty, leading shops to close. There is a lack of a welcoming atmosphere, which is inextricably linked with the new mall.

POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS
If we aim to revivify the town centre, we will have to come up with something innovative. For instance, an exhibition. It will attract a mass of people, and we can rest assured they will take advantage and enter some shops. Other attainable options are opening an ice cream shop or a café, which will embrace citizens and they will fill the streets, included the shops placed there.

CONCLUSION
To summarize, this situation arised as a result of opening a mall, leaving the overcrowded centre empty. To solve this, people must be attracted to it by announcing an exhibition or somewhere to eat.
I hope this proposal is felicitously phrased so that it is taken into account in the event of taking action.

I think the underlined parts are unnatural/incorrect and need to be rephrased. Make your sentences simpler so that they are easier to understand.

You need to say what the "state-of-the-art" facilities in the shopping mall are, which have pulled the crowd away from the town centre.

I just refer to the facilities of the mall to explain it is understandable people prefer it

I don't understand this sentence.

 

[laluuuusii]

I think the underlined parts are unnatural/incorrect and need to be rephrased. Make your sentences simpler so that they are easier to understand.

You need to say what the "state-of-the-art" facilities in the shopping mall are, which have pulled the crowd away from the town centre.


I don't understand this sentence.

Why are the expressions detrimental, into the bargain, it stands to reason, felicitously phrased… incorrect?
As far as I am concerned, detrimental = having a bad effect ; into the bargain= in addition ; it stands to reason = it is logical/obvious ; felicitously phrased= having chosen the words appropriately.

What I meant with that sentence is that it is logical people prefer the mall over the town centre because of the state of the art facilities (because it is very modern).

 

[tedmc]

As far as I am concerned, detrimental = having a bad effect ;
opening a huge shopping centre in the outskirts would be detrimental to shops located downtown.
It is not a cause-and-effect thing. I don't think you can say opening a shopping centre is detrimental/harmful to the shops. Its just that the pull factor from the shopping centre happens to be stronger in this case.


into the bargain= in addition ;
For this, residents opt for it as opposed to going to the centre, where shops are more disperse into the bargain.
This is not how the word "bargain" s used.

it stands to reason = it is logical/obvious ;
This is a superfluous phrase.

felicitously phrased= having chosen the words appropriately.
The word is not appropriately used.

What I meant with that sentence is that it is logical people prefer the mall over the town centre because of the state of the art facilities (because it is very modern).
I think saying that a place is modern and that people prefer to go there is still being vague.

 

[Tarheel]

Perhaps:

They have lots of new eateries at the new mall. They also have other things that aren't at the other place. (You've got to see The Fudgery.)

 

[Tarheel]

I believe we've had this discussion before. You know quite a few English expressions. And I don't doubt that you have their meanings correct. However, they are expressions I don't use and rarely see. (They were probably used more often by members of my parents' generation.)

I don't know how well they will work on a CAE exam. I don't have an opinion about that.