the tree caught on fire and a rain of flame was coming down

[alpacinou]

Hello.

Does the combination of "rain of flame" work?

Are these good?

1. The tree caught on fire. A rain of flame was coming down from its burning branches.

2. The car exploded a rain of flame came down on them.

3. As the burning building was collapsing, a rain of flame came down.

4. German planes had bombed the factory. When he arrived, a rain of flame was pouring down from the behemoth factory.

 

[emsr2d2]

[STRIKE]Hello.[/STRIKE] Unnecessary. Just go straight in with your question please.

Does the combination of "rain of flame" work? Not for me, no.

Are these good?

1. The tree caught [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE] fire. A [STRIKE]rain[/STRIKE] torrent of flames was coming down from its burning branches.

2. The car exploded; [STRIKE]a rain of[/STRIKE] flames [STRIKE]came[/STRIKE] rained down on them.

3. As the burning building was collapsing, a [STRIKE]rain[/STRIKE] torrent/waterfall of flames came down.

4. German planes had bombed the factory. When he arrived, a [STRIKE]rain[/STRIKE] torrent of flames was pouring down from the behemoth. [STRIKE]factory. [/STRIKE]

See above.

You had a comma splice in #2 and no explanation of who "them" refers to.

 

[alpacinou]

See above.

You had a comma splice in #2 and no explanation of who "them" refers to.

I love your suggestions.

Just so I'm clear, the combination "rain of flame" does not work in any situation?

 

[emsr2d2]

I love your suggestions.

Just so I'm clear, the combination "rain of flame" does not work in any situation?

Again, not for me, no.

 

[alpacinou]

Again, not for me, no.

Oh sorry I didn't see that part in post #2. I just read your corrections.

 

[emsr2d2]

Oh, sorry, I didn't see that part in post #2. I just read your corrections.

Please take more time when reading our responses. Read them at least twice, including all comments and corrections.

 

[Tarheel]

I rather like rain of flame. But I would only use it if the "rain" lasted for some time (at least a few seconds).