alpacinou
Key Member
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2019
- Member Type
- Interested in Language
- Native Language
- Persian
- Home Country
- Iran
- Current Location
- Iran
I have written two versions of a situation. Are they okay? Which one is better?
1. There was a dent on the frame, courtesy of her annoying stepbrother. The reddish brown cello was perhaps her best companion in this world. She lifted at and placed the bow on the strings. Cold notes cascaded down the cello as she drew the hair of the bow on the stings.
2. The reddish brown cello was perhaps her best friend in this world. There was a dent on the frame, courtesy of her annoying stepbrother. She lifted at and placed the bow on the strings. Sorrow cascaded down the cello as the hair of the bow touched the stings.
1. There was a dent on the frame, courtesy of her annoying stepbrother. The reddish brown cello was perhaps her best companion in this world. She lifted at and placed the bow on the strings. Cold notes cascaded down the cello as she drew the hair of the bow on the stings.
2. The reddish brown cello was perhaps her best friend in this world. There was a dent on the frame, courtesy of her annoying stepbrother. She lifted at and placed the bow on the strings. Sorrow cascaded down the cello as the hair of the bow touched the stings.