[Essay] TOEFL pbt topic.

[george lh]

Some people believe that money spent on space research benefits all of humanity. Others take the opposite view and say that money for this type of research is wasted. Discuss these two positions, using examples. Tell which view you agree with and explain why.

Please give some feedback, grammar correction and an TOEFL pbt score, Thank you in advance.

For over fifty years ago, a number of nations have been involved in the exploration of the outer space. This trend has been very costly, of course. Has this money been well-spent or wasted?Some people support space research. They point out to some products such as, heart pacemakers, freeze-dried food, and even personal computers, are direct or indirect result of space programs. These people say that the scientific knowledge about the planet, the moon, the sun, and even about our Earth, is as a result of the space research.However, other people take the opposite view, and consider the space research is only a waste of time and money. These people point to the incredible expense of space research, not only in terms of money, but also in terms of scientific and human resources. They say that it cost billions of dollars to send astronauts to the moon, and all they brought back were some worthless rocks. These people say that there are many more benefits of using the money in different important projects than wasting it on space research, such as saving the environment, finding cures for diseases, and improving the education system.In conclusion, I agree with those who support space research, because it has so many benefits as I already stated. Exploring the space may allow mankind to discover more and more in numerous fields and invent practical benefits on Earth.

 

[teechar]

You need to organize your essay into separate paragraphs. You also need to convince the reader why you support one position over the other. Unfortunately, your essay appears to support both sides equally!

There are two ways you can approach this kind of essay. The first is to write two body paragraphs, one supporting space research and the other opposing it, but you'd have to refute the arguments in the second paragraph with your own counterarguments.

Alternatively, you could present the two opposing positions in a paragraph each, and then write a third paragraph outlining your position.