two guys in the Parking lot

[kingston_123]

Michael selling tickets to two guys in the Parking lot. Then someone parked a car near Michael. Then Michael says about that car to those two guys.

Are there any errors in the sentence?

 

[emsr2d2]

Michael (verb missing here) selling tickets to two guys in the Parking lot. Then someone parked a car near Michael. Then Michael says about that car to those two guys.

Are there any errors in the sentence?

I have made comments above and marked errors in red. You have overused the word "then".

 

[kingston_123]

I have made comments above and marked errors in red. You have overused the word "then".

Michael is selling tickets to two guys in the parking lot and someone parked a car near Michael. Then Michael discussed two guys that car.

Is it correct ?

 

[emsr2d2]

Think about whether you are talking about two unspecified guys or two guys who have already been mentioned. When talking about specific nouns, you need an article. There is a word missing before "that car" although, even with that, I don't know what the final sentence means.

 

[kingston_123]

Think about whether you are talking about two unspecified guys or two guys who have already been mentioned. When talking about specific nouns, you need an article. There is a word missing before "that car" although, even with that, I don't know what the final sentence means.

Michael was selling tickets to two guys in a parking lot when someone parked a car near Michael. Michael talks about the car with the two guys

 

[emsr2d2]

Why did you use the simple past continuous and the simple past in the first sentence but the present tense in the second sentence? Why is there no closing punctuation mark?

 

[kingston_123]

Why did you use the simple past continuous and the simple past in the first sentence but the present tense in the second sentence? Why is there no closing punctuation mark?

Michael was selling tickets to two guys in the parking lot when someone parked their car near Michael. Then Michael started talking about that car to those two guys.

 

[bhaisahab]

Too much repetition of 'Michael'.

 

[kingston_123]

Too much repetition of 'Michael'.

Michael was selling tickets to two guys in the parking lot when someone parked their car near Michael. Then he started talking about that car to those two guys.

 

[bhaisahab]

Still too many.

 

[kingston_123]

Still too many.

Michael was selling tickets to two guys in the parking lot when someone parked their car near him. Then he started talking about that car to those them.

 

[emsr2d2]

"Those them"? I'm sure you know that's wrong!

 

[kingston_123]

"Those them"? I'm sure you know that's wrong!

Michael was selling tickets to two guys in the parking lot when someone parked their car near him. Then he started talking about that car to them.

 

[emsr2d2]

Much better but now the word "them" at the end could refer to the original two guys or to the unspecified person who parked their car near Michael.

 

[kingston_123]

Much better but now the word "them" at the end could refer to the original two guys or to the unspecified person who parked their car near Michael.

"them" at the end should refer to the original two guys, so what should I do?

 

[emsr2d2]

It would be OK to refer to the two guys again (using the same words) in the second sentence.