[General] While I was queuing, seeing the satisfied customers fueling their hunger..

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DANAU

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Hi.

I have constructed the sentence below. Can you please check if it is acceptable.
More specifically, I would like to know if I can start the second part of the sentence with "seeing" after the coma.

"While I was queuing, seeing the satisfied customers fuelling their hunger with different cuisines, it made me want to get my food faster."
 

jutfrank

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Say it like this:

[While I was queuing] seeing the satisfied customers fuelling their hunger with different cuisines made me want to get my food faster.

You can see I removed it, which makes the whole of the blue part the subject of made.
 

tedmc

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Hi.

I have constructed the sentence below. Can you please check if it is acceptable.
More specifically, I would like to know if I can start the second part of the sentence with "seeing" after the coma.

"While I was queuing, seeing the satisfied customers fuelling their hunger with different cuisines, it made me want to get my food faster."

I am not sure about the word "fuelling" in the sentence as it is normally used to mean making something more intense, as in fuelling speculation, fuelling criticism, etc.
I think satiating/appeasing/assuaging would be more appropriate in the context.
 

emsr2d2

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[STRIKE]Hi.[/STRIKE]

I [STRIKE]have constructed[/STRIKE] wrote the sentence below. Can you please check if it is [STRIKE]acceptable[/STRIKE] correct?
More specifically, I would like to know if I can start the second part of the sentence with "seeing" after the comma.

Note my corrections above.
 

Tdol

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I think satiating/appeasing/assuaging would be more appropriate in the context.

Or even feeding, but I agree that fuelling doesn't work.
 
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