Lisa vs Tom

[Offroad]

Dear teachers...

Could you please proofread this text below?

Lisa: I want you to know that I can’t put up with that lady friend of yours, Barb, isn’t it?
Tom: Yes, her name’s Barbara. She can get a bit cocky and loquacious when she drinks. But we have to give her some extra, she’s been through some tough times since her fiancé, a meth-head, left her and the kids.
Lisa: I don’t give a damn, please, do me a favour, keep that tart away from me!
Tom: What? Watch your mouth, you don’t have many friends to start insulting them.
Lisa: You know what, I’m going to take off, now that I have been completely put out by you, this is no place for me anymore!
Tom: Yeah, you’d better leave… and put in mind that you have no say on who I should be friends with!

Thanks in advance

[JMurray]

Hi Offroad. This is in quite slangy English so every editor will have a different opinion, especially about the vocabulary. For example, Lisa's parting words could be expressed in a lot of ways, my version just sounds right to me according to the tone of the conversation. But it might not sound quite right to English speakers of a different background. And of course I don't know the background of Lisa and Tom. A US editor might work better for you but I hope this is of some help.

Lisa: I want you to know that I can’t stand that lady friend of yours – Barb, isn’t it?
Tom: Yes, her name’s Barbara. She can get a bit cocky and talkative when she drinks. But we have to give her a break, she’s been through some tough times since her meth-head fiancé left her and the kids.
Lisa: I don’t give a damn, please do me a favour and keep that tart away from me!
Tom: What? Watch your mouth, you don’t have so many friends you can start insulting them.
Lisa: You know what, I’m going, you totally piss me off and this is no place for me anymore!
Tom: Yeah, you’d better leave… and keep in mind (or remember) that you have no say in who I should be friends with!