1. Our neighbours, who(m) we've known for over twenty years now, are moving out.
The relative pronoun cannot be omitted in non-defining clauses.
2. The woman to whom we gave a lift turned out a famous actress.
That's quite formal; more natural would be:
The woman we gave a lift to turned out a famous actress.
The woman who we gave a lift to turned out a famous actress.
The woman that we gave a lift to turned out a famous actress.
3. My city that used to be a small village a hundred years ago is quite big now. X
The city that used to be a small village a hundred years ago is quite big now.
My city, which that used to be a small village a hundred years ago, is quite big now





