get closer to people

[Ashiuhto]

Please check the following paragraph.

I am a little shy and silly, but I sincerely hope to help people and get closer to people. I'm working as a sales assistant currently. I have a busy job during the day. When I get home from work, I like to read books, listen to music to ease my pressure.

[JMurray]

I am a little shy and silly, but I sincerely hope to help people and get closer to people. I'm working as a sales assistant currently. I have a busy job during the day. When I get home from work, I like to read books, listen to music to ease my pressure.

Here are a couple of possible alternatives that might be useful to you.

"I am a little shy and silly, but I sincerely hope I can get closer to people and help them. I'm currently working as a sales assistant and have a busy job during the day. When I get home from work I like to read books and listen to music to relax".

"I am a little shy and silly, but I sincerely hope I can help people by getting closer to them. I'm currently working as a sales assistant and have a busy job during the day. When I get home from work I like to take it easy by reading books and listening to music".

Are you confident in the use of "silly", because it usually suggests a certain foolishness or lack of common sense. I wonder what you are trying to say about yourself here.

not a teacher

[Ashiuhto]

I revise the sentences as written. In #2, is it necessary to put a comma after the word "work"?



1. I am a little shy and careless,

2. When I get home from work, I like to read books and listen to music to relax.

[JMurray]

1. I am a little shy and careless,
This doesn't seem right either, "careless" is quite a strong criticism and can mean things like "irresponsible" or "insensitive". Do you mean "carefree"?… although that might be unusual for a shy person. Perhaps you are a "daydreamer" and a little "absentminded".

2. When I get home from work I like to read books and listen to music to relax.
No comma needed after "work".

not a teacher

(I know I shouldn't post late on a Saturday night)

[5jj]

... is it necessary to put a comma after the word "work"?

2. When I get home from work, I like to read books and listen to music to relax.

The comma makes it easier to read, in my opinion.