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  #1  
Old 17-Aug-2009, 11:55
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Country: Hong Kong
Posts: 4
Current Location: Hong Kong
First Language: Cantonese
Member Type: Student or Learner
Jasum is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Please correct my CV, Thanks a lot.

Hi guys,

I am a HK student looking for a teaching position. someone told me that members here will help me a lot to improve my letter. To be honest, my English is not very good and I am also looking for some advices to improve it.

So apart from helping me to correct the letter, if you have some advices for me to improve my English, it's also welcomed. Thanks a lot.

for the matter of privacy, the phrase " the university" and "the company" are amended by me deliberately , Please note.



Cover Letter

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to ask if it would be possible for me to have an opportunity for being a part-time tutor to teach Mathematic enrichment classes after / within school hours.

Start from next month, I will be a PGDE student studying in The University,majoring in mathematics (Secondary) on a full time basis. I have a strong desire to enhance my teaching skills and build up the career path in education as early as possible. I believe the teaching experience in Secondary School will not only help me to train up my teaching and presentation skills, which are essential for a teacher, but also assist me in obtaining thorough understanding on the knowledge taught in the PGDE course. This post also would enhance my understanding of general operation of a school and relations between units and organizations

In this passage, I would like to introduce myself in briefly, I am a forthcoming student of Postgraduate Diploma in Education (PGDE), majoring in mathematics (secondary) in The University and graduated in Physics from The University with second honor (upper class). I had shown my talent in mathematic when I was in secondary school. I have not only obtained nearly straight A’s in all mathematics and physics public examination, but also enrolled in an exclusive program held by The University for the young mathematics talents and finally got an excellent performance prize in this program.

For the working experience, I had been employed as a project engineer in the company in 2007 to 2009. The job duty included customer services and facilitating productions in the factory located in China. Those experiences in previous job, give me the idea of problem solving when encounter with students’ and parents’ enquiries and carrying out different projects required by my pane the school I was a tutor in private tutorial center on a part time basis and had experience on how to teach the students and prepare the supplementary note, which make me be confident to handle different cases and learn independently with my previous experience.

In my tertiary education, I am grateful to be chosen as a student majoring mathematics and physics. Even I switched my major to physics later for my interest on studying how mathematics in connection with physical reality, the training in theoretical physics gave me many ideas on the usage on mathematics.

So, I would like to request for a chance for interview to express my enthusiasm and background directly. Thanking you in advance.

Yours Faithfully,

Jason
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  #2  
Old 31-Aug-2009, 07:10
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Country: Israel
Posts: 51
Current Location: Europe
First Language: Russian/English
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wise owl is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Please correct my CV, Thanks a lot.

Hi,

I made the corrections I thought were necessary and rephrased some sentences. I'm not a teacher, but have a rich experience in writing these kind of things :) Good luck with the job!

Cover Letter

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to you regarding the position of a part time tutor of mathematics enrichment classes after / within school hours.

Starting next month, I will be a PGDE student studying in The University, majoring in mathematics (Secondary) on a full time basis. I have a strong desire to enhance my teaching skills and build up the career path in education as soon as possible. I believe the teaching experience in Secondary School will not only help me to train up my teaching and presentation skills, which are essential for a teacher, but also assist me in obtaining thorough understanding on the material/course program taught in the PGDE course. This post would also enhance my understanding of the general school operation of a school and relations between units and organizations.

(In this passage) Allow me to introduce myself briefly in . I am a forthcoming student of Postgraduate Diploma in Education (PGDE), majoring in mathematics (secondary) in The University and a graduate from The University in Physics with a second honor (upper class). I have shown my talent in mathematics when I was in secondary school. I have not only obtained nearly straight A’s in all mathematics and physics public examination, but also enrolled in an exclusive program held by The University for the young mathematics talents and finally got an excellent performance prize in this program.

As for my working experience, I have been employed as a project engineer in the company between 2007 and 2009 (if you're still working there, "have been" is appropriate, but if you're not working there anymore, it's better to use the Past Simple - I was employed). The job duty included customer services and facilitating productions in the factory located in China. Those experiences in previous job, gave me a better understanding of solving problems, encountered with students’ and parents’ inquiries and carrying out different projects required by my pane. In the school (if you mean a specific school, put it's name here. If you want to leave it as "school" with no name, you should write "In school" without "the") I was a tutor in a private tutorial center on a part time basis and had experience in teaching the students and preparing the supplementary note. This gave me confidence in handling different cases and learn independently with my previous experience.

In my tertiary education, I am grateful to be chosen as a student majoring in mathematics and physics. Even (when) [I think there's a word missing here, is it "when"?] I switched my major to physics later for my interest on studying what is the role of mathematics in connection with physical reality, the training in theoretical physics gave me many ideas on the usage on mathematics.

In relation to the said above, I truly believe my professional knowledge and experience will provide value helping students improve their mathematics skills. I would (highly) appreciate if you gave me a chance to express my enthusiasm and background directly in an interview.


Yours Faithfully,

Jason[/QUOTE]
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