Please critic and edit my cover letter

[asjoc]

Thanks in advance.
i used a template off the internet.
parts have been removed for privacy.

August 31, 2009

Human Resources
ADDRESS

Dear Company hiring manager,

I am Andrew, and I have currently just graduated high school and am looking for a high quality work place ready to bring me new challenges. I am ready to bring a standard of excellence approach to all aspects of the job I am applying for.

The qualifications and professional knowledge I can bring to your organization include:
• Galaxy Cinemas: In less than 6 than one year achieved the responsibilities and title of: Team Leader

• Proficient in computer relations ex. Microsoft word, Microsoft Excel.

• Management duties in computer relations such as website sales.

• The ability to learn & achieve: Scored 98% on a mystery shop at Galaxy Cinemas, best score since 2001.

In review of your company’s objectives and possible openings, I believe that my experience is in perfect line with your current needs. If your firm is looking for a dependable, results-oriented professional with a solid performance track, I would be interested in speaking with you to discuss the value that my strengths and experience can bring to your company. I can be reached in confidence at the above telephone numbers or email address and I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely yours,
NAME