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01-Apr-2005, 17:30
| | | need to have my CV and cover letter proof-read Hello,
I need to have my CV and cover letter proof-read by a native english speaker or someone who's bilingue.
I want to have an intership in Australia in the area of Socially Responsible Investment (SRI).
Thank you for your help
Célie CV : Personal profile:
An enthusiastic and serious undergraduate specialized in international finance, with excellent interpersonal, organisational and analytical skills. Keen to progress and learn about different cultures. Self-confident and able to work as a team member or under own intiative, capacity for sales and marketing, comfortable in all customer contact situations, and strong oral and written ocmmunication skills. Education :
2004 - 2005 :
Second Year at the Institute of Political Sciences of Toulouse, “Sciences Po”, a selective school wich awards a five-year degree : the “Diplome de l’Institut d’Etudes Politiques de Toulouse”. Sciences Po's conception of higher education is to build a structure of technical competence on a multidisciplinary foundation of broad understanding and analytic skills.
•General courses on law, economy, political science, and languages.
•Special field of study : international Finance, economics
2003 – 2004 :
Admission in first year at the Institute of Political Sciences of Toulouse
2002 – 2003 :
French Baccalauréat (secondary education leaving certificate) in Economics (with highest honours). Main subjects : economics, mathematics, languages; other subjects : history, geography, philosophy. Work experience
Since 2003 :
Worked regularly in an estate angency next to Toulouse :
•Reception of customers, assist them to establish their expectancies in property and advise them on how to invest in the best product
•Accounting
•Advertisments writing, management of the internet website, relationships with partnairs of the firm : notaries, bankers, asbestos consultants… SkillsIT skills : computer literate, strong MS Excel and MS Word experience
Languages skills :
French (mother tongue) ; English (high standard) ; German (read and written).
Preparation of the TOEFL Interests Involvment in charity : school support for children having difficulties in their scholarship
Humanitarian travel in Burkina Faso in 2002 : organisation of collection in aid of schools and hospitals, organisation of the trip
Involvement in a civic association : organized campaign on HIV/AIDS and poverty issues Cover letter :
Dear Ms W,
I am currently an undergraduate in the Institute of Political Sciences of Toulouse (France), majoring in economics and international finance. As a part of my academic program, I am required to complete an internship of eight or ten months (between september 2005 and august 2006), consisting in having an unpaid training period which will allow me to use the skills I am developing in my coursework.
Highly interested by the ethical finance, and very informed about this topic (conferences, lectures about SRI, reading of the financial press and surveys of SRI in Europe, North America, and Australia), I would like to do this internship with Challenger Financial Services Group.
The concept, practice and growth of ethically, socially and environmentally responsible investing is a very attractive area. This approach to investing that considers both the profit potential and the investment's impact on society and the environment is ideal for me, because my multidisciplinary education allows me to have a global approach of society and investing, and my specialisation in economics and finance allows me to consider the framework of traditional investment or financial analysis too. Moreover, the Challenger Socially Responsive Investment Fund is all the more interesting as it uses both negative and positive screens to discern the SRI credentials of Australian compagnies.
Thanks to my involvement in charities or civic association, I use to work collegially with internal and external partners, and I have good publics speaking skills, and an ability to speak to a variety of audiences. My high degree of self motivation, innovation, problem-solving and decision making capabilities, as well as my experience in an estate agency, make me the ideal person to assist investors to establish their financial goals and their “ethical profile”, and assist them to invest in managed funds that suit both ethical profile and financial goals.
My interest and aknowledes in economics and finance, combined with my highly interest for social and environnmental issues, have convinced me that ethical financial adviser is a career option I would like to explore, and an internship with Challenger Financial Services Group would be mutually beneficial. Your company has an excellent Socially responsive investment fund, and I know that the combination of my financial skills, my multidisciplinary education, my european approach of SRI and my motivation to excel in this area, will make me an asset to your ethical financial advisers.
I am sure that it would be worthwhile for us to have a phone interview. I will contact you within a week to arrange a phone interview. Should you have any questions before that time, you may reach me via phone : ..........; or via email : ......
Thank you for your time and consideration
Sincerely, | 
02-Apr-2005, 15:51
| | Editor, UsingEnglish.com | | Join Date: Nov 2002 Country: UK Location: Phnom Penh First Language: English
Posts: 24,927
Thanks: 1
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| | Re: need to have my CV and cover letter proof-read I'll start:
Profile- ocmmunication- communication
Education- a selective school wich- which
Work experience- estate angency next to Toulouse - should be 'agency'. I don't like next to Toulouse; use something like 'outside' or 'near'
Reception of customers, assist them to establish their expectancies in property - Receiving clients, helping them find properties that met their requirements
Advertisments writing- Writing advertisements
partnairs- partners
Languages skills- Language skills or Languages spoken or simply Languages
or children having difficulties in their scholarship- Do you mean children with special learning needs? | 
02-Apr-2005, 16:48
| | | Re: need to have my CV and cover letter proof-read Quote: |
Originally Posted by tdol I'll start:
Profile- ocmmunication- communication
Education- a selective school wich- which
Work experience- estate angency next to Toulouse - should be 'agency'. I don't like next to Toulouse; use something like 'outside' or 'near'
Reception of customers, assist them to establish their expectancies in property - Receiving clients, helping them find properties that met their requirements
Advertisments writing- Writing advertisements
partnairs- partners
Languages skills- Language skills or Languages spoken or simply Languages
or children having difficulties in their scholarship- Do you mean children with special learning needs? | Hello,
Thank you for your reply, it's really usefull for me.
For "children having difficulties in their scholarship", I mean children who're failing in their scolarship : may I have to put instead "children with special learning needs"?
Thank you again
Cécile | 
03-Apr-2005, 01:29
| | Editor, UsingEnglish.com | | Join Date: Nov 2002 Country: UK Location: Phnom Penh First Language: English
Posts: 24,927
Thanks: 1
Thanked 155 Times in 151 Posts
| | Re: need to have my CV and cover letter proof-read I don't lnow what you mean by 'scholarhip'- in English, it's a grant of money to aid studies. Do you mean 'schoolwork'? | 
04-Apr-2005, 12:18
| | | Re: need to have my CV and cover letter proof-read Quote: |
Originally Posted by tdol I don't lnow what you mean by 'scholarhip'- in English, it's a grant of money to aid studies. Do you mean 'schoolwork'? | Yes, I meant "schoolwork", I have put this word instead of "scholarship".
Thank you for your help
Célie | 
04-Apr-2005, 15:55
| | Editor, UsingEnglish.com | | Join Date: Nov 2002 Country: UK Location: Phnom Penh First Language: English
Posts: 24,927
Thanks: 1
Thanked 155 Times in 151 Posts
| | Re: need to have my CV and cover letter proof-read Letter:
(between september 2005 and august 2006)- capitalise months
consisting in having an unpaid training period- consisting of an unpaid...
Highly interested by the ethical finance- in ethical finance
global approach of society- approach to
Australian compagnies.- companies
civic association- associations
I use to work- I am used to working
good publics speaking skills- public
assist investors to establish
aknowledes- knowledge (?)
highly interest- great interest (it must be an adjective here)
my european approach of SRI- European appraoch to
excel in this area,- delete comma | 
05-Apr-2005, 21:33
| | | Re: need to have my CV and cover letter proof-read Quote: |
Originally Posted by tdol Letter:
(between september 2005 and august 2006)- capitalise months
consisting in having an unpaid training period- consisting of an unpaid...
Highly interested by the ethical finance- in ethical finance
global approach of society- approach to
Australian compagnies.- companies
civic association- associations
I use to work- I am used to working
good publics speaking skills- public
assist investors to establish
aknowledes- knowledge (?)
highly interest- great interest (it must be an adjective here)
my european approach of SRI- European appraoch to
excel in this area,- delete comma | Thank you very much for your help. It was really useful.
Célie | 
06-Apr-2005, 03:21
| | Editor, UsingEnglish.com | | Join Date: Nov 2002 Country: UK Location: Phnom Penh First Language: English
Posts: 24,927
Thanks: 1
Thanked 155 Times in 151 Posts
| | Re: need to have my CV and cover letter proof-read You're welcome.  | | Thread Tools | | | | Display Modes | Linear Mode |
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