Please help me with motivation letter, completly stuck

[Gilliankrueger]

I have tried to write a motivation letter to the study of my dreams, but has never had bigger problems with what to write, is halfways done with the rough part. Can i get feedback with content and language, thanks in advance.

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I would like to express my interest for an admission to the third year of my BA in International Marketing and Management at Nanyang Technological University – Nanyang Business School, Singapore.

I have always belived that the world is getting smaller and smaller, the social and cultural borders between countries is dispearing.

Nanyang Technological University (NTU) has established an international reputation and lies in one of the most interesting countries in the world, Singapore. The University will also host the world first youth olympic Games.

I have always been fasinated with the mixed cultural heritage that this country posess and the sucess it has builed with the only resoucre they have, its people. I am a product of love between borders (norwegian dad/polish mom) and therefore has a rich cultural heritage, a similiarity i feel i share with the nation of Singapore.

After my conscription in the norwegian navy i went to the officer candidate school for the norwegian navy and served as a Petty Officer in the coastguard for two years, with good grades and good reports back for my efforts and results there.

I learned there that any man or woman can move mountains if they just have the motivation for it. I want to see the world, i want to prepare myself for a world where we not see ourselves as citizens of one country, but as a citizen of the world, and that time is coming fast.

Not only do I have the ambition to excel(better word here?), but also to take part actively in the socials aspects of the school, learn how it works internally, meet new people and find out how I could turn this year into the most enriching experience i will have. I have always believed that to experience fully college, we have to not just study but also be active in the different social forums and activites within the university.

I hope that i one day will have a career that goes between borders and that will make a change in the world, and i hope that my first step to this will be out in the beautiful Asian continent, where the rich cultural heritage meets the new world in harmony.

[Gillnetter]

I have tried to write a motivation letter to the study of my dreams, but has never had bigger problems with what to write, is halfways done with the rough part. Can i get feedback with content and language, thanks in advance.

Version:1.0 StartHTML:0000000183 EndHTML:0000006456 StartFragment:0000002454 EndFragment:0000006420 SourceURL:file://localhost/Users/tommyalexanderlund/Documents/Dear%20Sir.doc
I would like to express my interest for an admission to the third year of my BA in International Marketing and Management at Nanyang Technological University – Nanyang Business School, Singapore.

I have always belived believed that the world is getting smaller and smaller, the that the social and cultural borders between countries is dispearing are disappearing.

Nanyang Technological University (NTU) has established an international reputation {A reputation in what areas?} and lies in one of the most interesting countries in the world, ;Singapore. The University will also host the world first youth olympic Games.

I have always been fasinated fascinated with the mixed cultural heritage that this country posesses and the sucess it has builed built with the only resoucre resource they have,; its their people. I am a product of love between borders (nNorwegian dad/pPolish mom) and therefore has have a rich cultural heritage, a similiarity i I feel i that I share with the nation of Singapore.

After my conscription in the nNorwegian navy i I went to the officer candidate school for the nNorwegian navy and served as a Petty Officer in the cCoastguard for two years., I received with good grades and good reports back for my efforts and results there.

I learned there that any man or woman can move mountains if they just have the motivation for it. I want to see the world, i I want to prepare myself for a world where we do not see ourselves as citizens of one country, but as a citizen of the world, and that time is coming fast.

Not only do I have the ambition to excel {excel is a good choice here}(better word here?), but also to take part actively in the socials aspects of the school,; to learn how it works internally,; to meet new people; and find out how I could can turn this year into the most enriching experience i I will have. I have always believed that to fully experience fully college, we have to not just study, but also be active in the different social forums and activites within the university.

I hope that i one day I will have a career that goes between borders and that I will make a change in the world, and i I hope that my first step to this will be out in the beautiful Asian continent, where the rich cultural heritage meets the new world in harmony.

You have a good start here. I suggest expanding on your personal history a bit and on the areas that you want to study.