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  #1  
Old 09-Feb-2010, 21:28
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Default Common App Essay Please Review

Topic: Topic of your choice (How I Face Challenges)

I am a well-groomed, casually-dressed man whose body mimics the movement of those around him, but whose mind is days ahead, studying, pondering, planning, concentrating. I am a quiet, seemingly innocuous, man who does not lurk in the shadows – waiting for my next victim to inevitably step into those detrimental shadows – but remains in the sunlight. I am a glasses-wearing, curly-haired man who squints at the same sunlight – squinting not only to filter the sunlight, but also to see what is yet to come – the destruction of my victims. I am a serial killer.


I study my victims very closely. Every facet and every detail of their lives stays under the lens of my glasses. My eyes, watery and red from reading, are fixated on the pages on which their lives unfold. Flipping each page, intent on understanding everything my victims have within them, I study every minute detail, pondering what each detail will reveal to me about this world.


My victims are difficult to recall. Their numerous details are challenging to retain; however, I am up to the challenge. In fact, this challenge fuels me, makes me want to feel the enlightenment when their destruction is complete. This challenge enables me to push through the ache of my brain as I concentrate on the details and the hurt in my hands as I annotate every aspect of their lives.


Information is key; retrieval of this information requires social interaction. My victims are also studied by others; therefore, I always have a plethora of prospective informants. Retrieving information from these informants pleases me. The constant interaction with them introduces me to many people, people with interests similar and dissimilar to my own, people with whom I can engage in both intelligent and comical debates, people who become my friends.


Studying is good but relaxation is better. The friends I make not only help me retrieve information and achieve the destruction of my victims, but they also draw me out of the manic studying I get sucked into once I start. They let me experience the enjoyment in life that studying rids. This enjoyment is uplifting and removes the ache from my brain and the ache of my hands. However, challenges, when incomplete, seem to draw me back and I resume my studies, aiming and hoping for my victims' ultimate destruction.


The final moment, the final test, the ultimate destruction. All my studying culminates into a final moment. All my victims line up, one after the other, awaiting their fate while I approach them one at a time. My first victim Science, my second - Math, third - English, fourth - Government, fifth – Religion; and sixth - Technology.


The tests come back and my challenge has been completed – my current victims, destroyed. A's on all of them. My serial killing passion has been quelled, momentarily. Friends and enjoyment take over my life, temporarily. Now, another victim appears and again brings out the serial killer in me. The challenges these new victims bring seem insurmountable; however, this challenge fuels me to surmount this insurmountable victim – College.
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  #2  
Old 09-Feb-2010, 22:02
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Default Re: Common App Essay Please Review

You owe a deep bow to O. Henry. Nicely written piece.
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  #3  
Old 13-Feb-2010, 21:55
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Default Re: Common App Essay Please Review

Anybody else have feedback?
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