URGENT!!Can you give me your opinion about my motivation letter

Hello everybody I have to submit my motivation letter Wednesday on the latest.
I have try to write a motivation letter but although I have correct several times I am not satisfy with the result.I hope your comments will help me.
Thank You
University of Business and International Studies
Masters of Advanced Studies in International Relations

Dear Sir/ Madam,
I am writing to express my interest in applying for a Master's Degree Programme in International Relations starting in June/August 2010. I believe that my educational background in International relations may fulfil your requirements as I hold a three year’s Bachelor’s degree in History with International relations from the University of Mauritius. And I am convinced that the MA-IR programme suits my intellectual background and my ambitious professional targets.
During my studies I have developed a strong interests for International Relations therefore I would like to gain a deeper theoretical knowledge as well as practical skills in this particular field to help me pursue my career objectives.
During my second year I had opted for Public International Law and in my third year I have studied International Institution, Civil Society and Human Right and I have also done a dissertation with the title “Political and Economic aspects of Olympic games” where I had to show how International Relations between states have an impact on these games and interstate relations as well as on the politic and economy of these states. As such these are the field that interest me the most.

Considering my special interest in pursuing a career in international environment the MA-IR programme will be an excellent opportunity for me to developed a familiarity with the key issues and debates in IR theory as well as ability to apply this knowledge to a range of practical and analytical tasks and it will also help me to have a competitive advantage of understanding the global, regional and sub-regional international dynamics as well as offering more practical insights into the mechanisms of policy-making applications for foreign nationals. Since such skills would be essential in attaining my career goals, my aim being to work in an international environment. In particular I would like to work in an international organisation in the field of human rights. I would also like to be part of Research work, to work for Non Governmental Organisation and even teaching form part of my career objectives.
Mauritius form part of a number of International Organisation and it has favourable trade access to European Union, American, Eastern and Southern African markets through agreements such as the African Growth and Opportunity Act (AGOA), the Common Market for Eastern and Southern Africa (COMESA) and the Southern African Development Community (SADC). Furthermore, Mauritius enjoys very good cultural relations with emerging nations such as India and China and super powers like the USA. I would like to contribute in helping my country in dealing with other states.

For me there were no better place than Switzerland to study International Relations as it is not only known for its neutrality in the international arena but it has also been the home to an array of international organizations for more than a century and the host to numerous international organizations and conferences. Owing to which Geneva is considered as one of the world’s most important centres for international cooperation
And I have chosen UBIS as the course is going to be taught in English that was a great advantage for me as I have always studied in English and French, besides the fact that UBIS is found among the 8th top University in Switzerland.

In conclusion, I am confident that the academic grounding I gained at Mauritius University would serve my successfully undertaking the challenges of the MA-IR program, and provide the best opportunity for me to develop academically, professionally, and personally.

I hope this letter will be given your full consideration and I will be happy to provide any further information you may require.

Yours Faithfully

xxxxx