please help me with my motivation letter, thanks!!!

[bluecactus5181]

Dear Dr. ***,
I am writing to apply for the PhD position in the project “****”. Currently, I am a second master student in Electrical Engineering at University of **, and fully expect to complete my master degree requirements by June 2010. With a Bachelor degree in Communication Engineering and a Msc. in Electrical Engineering (EE), I expect that the PhD will push me to new heights and contribute enormously to my future career plans. I also believe that I would be a valuable addition to the project.
During my undergraduate studies in Communication Engineering at University (**), I was mainly introduced to sequential structured courses related to mathematics, electronics, information processing and telecommunications. Worth to mention, in the final year, I took part in the elective course “Digital Image Processing & Application”, which excited my profound desire to learn, and got full marks in the final exam. The course was just an introduction to the area of digital image processing, but was enough to whet my interest in it. At graduation, I was recommended to the Graduate School at the same University to pursue a PhD degree without the mandatory admission exams. I took it as the first serious step on the way to my eventual objective as a successful researcher.
As a doctoral student in the Institute of (****) at University (**), the coursework and research in my graduate study mainly focused on optical communication. In this period I participated in two projects of our institute, which were “***” and “****". I cherished these experiences, which taught me to know what a project really was and how to cooperate with other members to work efficiently and effectively. However, I found that my research interest still lied in information processing, especially in imaging processing and computer vision. So, I quit the doctoral study and applied for Master Program in EE, at University of ***.
Considering my academic background, University of *** offered me a special shorter program to obtain the Msc. in EE and supports my study with University of *** Scholarship . Here my academic focus is specialized in information processing and my courses thus far have familiarized me with different techniques in information theory, image processing, and pattern recognition. The practical projects in my master program broaden my knowledge and make my research ability matured. And what is more, giving presentations and writing reports, which are not the common forms of examination in China, increase my confidence and improve my ability of English speaking and writing. Looking back at my study at University of ***, especially the period of doing my projects in (*&*) group, I have learned a lot from the supervisors and other students and made me a better communicator and more competent for conducting researches.
So when you introduced this interesting and meaningful project in (*&*) group to me, I think it is a great opportunity for me to grasp and challenge myself to achieve higher goals in a high quality R&D environment. Moreover, this project will make the early detection of the diabetic foot more convenient, reduce cost of the doctors’ examining efforts and benefit the patients’ life a lot.
I realize that admission into this project is highly competitive, but I am certain that my experience and abilities would serve me well in this group and this project. Besides, personal characteristics of perseverance and diligence will sustain me in this PhD program. I would appreciate the opportunity to discuss my qualifications and the PhD position in more detail.
Thank you for the opportunity to express myself.

Very Sincerely Yours,




Thank you very much for kind help !!!!

[sugan_sirius27]

Dear Dr. ***,

I am writing to apply for the PhD position in the project “****”. Currently, I am a second master student in Electrical Engineering at University of **, and I expect to complete all my master degree requirements fully by June 2010. With a Bachelor degree in Communication Engineering and a post graduate degree in Electrical Engineering (EE), I expect that a PhD will push me to great heights and contribute enormously to my future career plans, while adding value to the project in which I will be a part of. During my undergraduate studies in Communication Engineering at University (**), I was mainly introduced to sequential structured courses, related to mathematics, electronics, information processing and telecommunications. Worth to mention, in the final year, I took part in the elective course “Digital Image Processing & Application”, which excited my profound desire to learn. As a result, I secured full marks in the course’s final exam. The course was just an introduction to the area of digital image processing, but was good enough to increase my interest in it. During my Graduation, I was recommended to the Graduate School of the same University to pursue a PhD degree without the mandatory admission exams. I took it as the first serious step on the way to my eventual objective as a successful researcher. As a doctoral student in the Institute of (****) at University (**), the coursework and research in my graduate study mainly focused on optical communication. In this period I participated in two projects of our institute, Namely, “***” and “****". I cherished those experiences, which explained me what a project really was and the importance of team work, which is vital for efficiency. However, I found that my research interest was still in information processing, especially in image processing and computer vision. So, I quit the doctoral study and applied for a Master Program in EE, at University of ***. Considering my academic background, University of *** offered me a special shorter program to obtain an MSc., in EE and supported my study with University of *** Scholarship . Here my academic focus is specialized in information processing and my courses so far have familiarized me with different techniques in information theory, image processing, and pattern recognition. The practical projects in my master program broaden my knowledge and mature my research ability. And further more, the institute provided a platform to present our ideas through various presentations and made us to write reports, which are not the common forms of examination in China. This increased my confidence levels and helped me to improve my Spoken and Written English. Looking back at my study at The University of ***, especially the time spent during my projects in (*&*) group, I have learnt a lot from the supervisors and other students. These aspects have made me a better communicator and more competent for conducting researches. So if you introduce me to this interesting and meaningful project in (*&*) group by admitting me, I am certain it will be a great and challenging opportunity for me to grasp and challenge myself to achieve great heights in a high quality R&D environment. Moreover, this project will make the early detection of the diabetic foot more convenient, reduce cost of the doctors’ examining efforts and benefit the patients’ life a lot. I realize that admission into this project is highly competitive, but I am certain that all my experiences and abilities would serve me a great deal in this group and project. Besides all, My personal traits such as perseverance and diligence will sustain me in this PhD program. I would appreciate an appointment with you to discuss my qualifications and the PhD position in detail.
Thank you for the opportunity to express myself.

Sincerely Yours,


Hi Mr. Blue. I have done my best to correct your letter in a short period of time. it was good. I dint have much time to look through it completely. GIve me more details.. so that i will have ideas.

I am not a teacher... I always wish to be learner.... student...

[bluecactus5181]

Thank you very much for your prompt reply!!!

My supervisor for my master thesis project in the group introduced me this project and asked me to apply for it.
Although this project will also be under his direction, the motivation letter should also convince the group leader to hire me.

I am also wondering whether the content is a little bit redundant. I tried to introduce all the improvement trough the studies, is that OK for apply for a PhD position?

[bluecactus5181]

Thank you very much, gil and sugan sirius27!!

According to both of your opinions， I modified the letter.

Dear Dr. ***,
I am writing to apply for the PhD position in the “****” project. Currently, I am a second year masterstudent in Electrical Engineering (is there any problem with this sentence now? I missed a word last time. ) at the University of **. I fully expect to complete my master degree requirements by June, 2010. With a Bachelor degree in Communication Engineering and a Msc. in Electrical Engineering (EE), I expect that the PhD will push me to new heights and contribute enormously to my future career plans. I also believe that I would be a valuable addition to the project.

During my undergraduate studies in Communication Engineering at (**) University, I was introduced to sequential structured courses related to mathematics, electronics, information processing and telecommunications. In the final year, I took part in the elective course, “Digital Image Processing & Application”, which excited my profound desire to dive into all the books recommended by the professor. As a result, I secured full marks in the course's final exam. ( learn what ? Actually, I meant I learned the contents in the course, but if there was any misunderstanding... How about this time?) As a result, I secured full marks in the course's final exam. The course was just an introduction to the area of digital image processing, but was enough to whet my interest in it. In the end of my undergraduate study, ("at graduation" means on the day of your graduation. Do you really mean after you graduated? Actually, it is just before the graduation. I don't know how to express that period. ) I ranked 7th among 200 gifted students and was recommended to the graduate school at the same university to pursue a PhD degree without the mandatory admission exams.I took it as one serious step on the way to my eventual objective to be a successful researcher. (So...you were not serious during all of the years that you were in school? Er... how about this time?)

As a doctoral student in the Institute of (****) at (**) University, the coursework and research in my graduate study mainly focused on optical communication. In this period I participated in two projects, which were “***” and “****". I cherished those experiences, which taught me to understand what a project really was and how to cooperate with other members to work efficiently and effectively. However, I found that my research interest still was in information processing, especially in imaging processing and computer vision. So, I quit the doctoral study and applied for the master's program in EE, at the University of ***.

Considering my academic background, the University of *** offers me a special shorter program to obtain the Msc. in EE and supports my study with the University of *** scholarship. Here, my academic focus is specialized in information processing and my courses thus far have familiarized me with different technologies in information theory, image processing, and pattern recognition. Doing the practical projects for my master program in (*&*) group broadens my knowledge and helps my research abilities to mature. And what is more, the courses and the projects in (*&*) group always provide the students a platform to present our ideas through various presentations and reports, which are not the common forms of examinations in China. These practices have increased my confidence and improved my abilities of English speaking and writing. Looking back at my years at the University of ***, especially the period when I was involved in projects in the (*&*) group, I learned a lot from the supervisors and other students, which made me a better communicator and more competent for conducting researches.

So, when you introduced this interesting and meaningful project in (*&*) group to me, I thought it to be a great opportunity for me to grasp and to challenge myself to achieve higher goals in a high quality, R&D environment. Moreover, this project will make the early detection of the diabetic foot more convenient, reduce the cost of the doctors’ examining efforts and benefit the patients’ life.

I realize that admission into this project is highly competitive, but I am certain that my experience and abilities will serve me well in this group and in this project. Besides, my personal characteristics of perseverance and diligence will sustain me in this PhD program. I would appreciate the opportunity to discuss my qualifications and the PhD position in more detail.

Thank you for the opportunity to express myself.

Very Sincerely Yours,

How about the new version? It is still open for any opinions!! Thanks again!!

[bluecactus5181]

Thank you again for your prompt reply!!