help with motivation letter for master program

[zmuryn]

Hi everybody,

first of all I would like to thanks to all people who help this idea to work.
I would like to ask you if you could help me to correct my motivation letter to University? It is very important for me, you know, it is my future:

Dear Sir or Madam,

I appreciate this opportunity to provide further background information in support of my application for entrance to IB master program. I strongly believe that both my educational background and deep concern in this field of study make me a very good candidate for the program.

I graduated with a bachelor's degree in Law and international trade from Masaryk University, faculty of law, in 2009. I also study European economy, administrative and cultural studies at Masaryk University, economics and administrative faculty, where I will obtain bachelor´s degree in June 2010. Studying two different programs at two different faculties taught me excellent time management and organizational skills.

As my aim is to work at higher managerial position in an international field, during my studies I put emphasis on business area, with an international focus. I took additional courses with the focus on finance, international business and languages. This was the main reason why I chose fachhochschule in Vienna for my exchange studying program: its courses are practical oriented and different cultural background of its students creates grate preparation for the future.

To gain more practical experience I also worked beside my studies. First, I worked in IT company, where I was assigned as marketing and administrative assistant. I gained a lot of experience in organization of work, teamworking and communication. I took my second work experience working for consultancy company as Administration Manager and Researcher. I tremendously enjoyed my experience working at Future cities forum because I had the opportunity to participate in analyzing and researching of market, developing new company´s webside and organizing of conference. These opportunities strengthened my skills in independent work, communication with customers and organization.

My interest in the IB program has much to do with the information I acquired about its excellent interdisciplinary program and some great references about the University from media and also my friends. I’m convinced that the IB program would provide me with the necessary theoretical knowledge and practical skills I need for a successful business management in the future. The highly qualified lecturer and the academic environment will enable me to achieve my goals.

The International Business requires an international approach. Therefore, I want to study at the University of Economics in an international environment. I want to learn and work together with students and teachers from all over the world. I have the same experience from my current studies at Vienna and I found it challenging but also very beneficial to my future development.

I realize the highly competitive demands of the program, but I have enough ability, ambition and motivation to cope with the requirements for a successful study at the University. I am eager to gain new experiences and in my opinion this program is the best way to achieve that. I am positive that the University of Economics in Prague and especially IB master program would be an excellent start for an ambitious business career. Therefore I would be very proud and happy if I were allowed to enroll for the IBEB program at your prestigious University, so that I could prove you and myself of my motivation to fulfill my goals.

Thank you for considering my application.

Sincerely yours,

[Gillnetter]

Hi everybody,

first of all I would like to thanks to all people who help this idea to work.
I would like to ask you if you could help me to correct my motivation letter to University? It is very important for me, you know, it is my future:

Dear Sir or Madam,

I appreciate this opportunity to provide further background information in support of my application for entrance to the IB (If IB means International Business, it should be spelled out.) master program. I strongly believe that both my educational background and deep concern in this field of study make me a very good candidate for the program.

I graduated with a bachelor's degree in law and international trade from Masaryk University, faculty of law, in 2009. I also study European economy, administrative and cultural studies at Masaryk University, economics and administrative faculty, where I will obtain a bachelor´s degree in June, 2010. Studying two different programs at two different faculties taught me excellent time management and organizational skills.

As my aim is to work at in a higher managerial position in an international field, during my studies I put an emphasis on business area, with an international focus. I took additional courses with the focus on finance, international business and languages. This was the main reason why I chose Fachhochschule in Vienna for my exchange studying study program: its courses are practical oriented and the different cultural backgrounds of its students creates grate a great preparation for the future.

To gain more practical experience, I also worked beside my studies while in school. First, I worked in at IT company, where I was assigned as marketing and administrative assistant. I gained a lot of experience in the organization of work, teamworking and communication. I took My second work experience was working for a consultancy company as Administration Manager and Researcher. I tremendously enjoyed my experience working at Future Cities forum because I had the opportunity to participate in the analyzing and researching of markets, developing a new company´s webside and the organizing of conferences. These opportunities strengthened my skills in independent work, communication with customers and organization.
(You worked at IT, then a consultancy company - what is the relation of Future Cities to these, or did you also work somewhere else?)
My interest in the IB program has much to do with the information I acquired about its excellent interdisciplinary program and some great references about the university from both the media and also my friends. I’m convinced that the IB program would provide me with the necessary theoretical knowledge and practical skills I will need for a successful business management career in the future. The highly qualified lecturers and the academic environment will enable me to achieve my goals.

The International Business requires an international approach. Therefore, I want to study at the University of Economics in an international environment. I want to learn and work together with students and teachers from all over the world. I have the same experience from my current studies at Vienna and I found it challenging but also and very beneficial to for my future development.

I realize the highly competitive demands of the program, but I have enough the ability, ambition and motivation to exceed cope with the requirements for a successful study and to excel at the university. I am eager to gain new experiences, and, in my opinion, this program is the best way to achieve that. I am positive that the University of Economics in Prague and especially the IB master program would be an excellent start for an ambitious business career. Therefore, I would be very proud and happy if I were allowed to enroll for the IBEB program at your prestigious university so that I could prove you and myself of my motivation to fulfill my goals.

Thank you for considering my application.

Sincerely yours,

I realize that this letter is about you, but you may be using I, me, and my too much.