Can I please get some help with my statement of purpose?

[claudianagy]

Hello, I intend to apply for a LLM in EU law and I have to write a minimum 2 page statement of purpose but it turned out to be extremely difficult. Could somebody please take a look at it and tell me what I should change about it so I could have a chance to get to my dream school?. thank you very much for your time.
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I am not one of the people who wanted to become a lawyer since they were in kindergarden. Up to high school I wanted to be a computer programmer and that is the reason I chose a mathematics-informatics class and the reason I took part in informatics competitions. But in my second year of high school I was named class representative, and soon started to get a new perspective on life. I realized that I loved to stand up for other people, to speak in their behalf and to find every possible solution to make things work out for the best. And so, by the last year I realized that I had a new purpose in life, to help other people. I started to realize that maybe a career in computer science wasn’t the best thing for me. That’s when I considered law school.

I soon enrolled in a debate club to see if I had what it takes to succeed in this area. I was happy to see that it came naturally because what I have done so far was a great help in my formation. It was like solving a problem, it was all logical, you just had to analyze every aspect of the situation given, to find the basic problem and find the reasonable “formulas” to solve it. So I decided to apply for a law faculty. At first I was scared when I saw all the books because I was used to learning two formulas and then apply them in various ways to solve problems. But I soon realized that law wasn’t about memorising all those books. I understood that law was about logic, fairness and then things just came naturally. The fact that I loved what I was doing helped me a lot in overcoming hundreds of pages and hours of research.

As many other people around, I study law in order to enforce social order and impartiality, and as I continue with the specialty studies I become all the more motivated. As a major of law, I have attended many courses and read extensively, and now I have started to work independently on certain issues and to learn more of sociological and economic knowledge in order to enrich my foundation of knowledge. During this process of schooling and growth, I have come to identify the object of my greatest interest, commercial law. Through my four years of university I have always been in the top five students in the EU Law specialization, being rewarded with a study scholarship. I worked hard for it but it was worth it. There is nothing compared to how you feel when hard work pays off. I always tried to be better, I was always eager to learn new things and to overcome every problem. I intend to do so from now on and to try to be the best in my field no matter how much work it implies.

I also consider relevant to my development, both as a person and as a professional, my experience with ELSA (European Law Students’ Association). And this is because our educational system is focused on a student’s capacity to study, to accumulate as much knowledge as possible. But by being a part of ELSA I have learned a great deal about life and how to handle various types of situations. It taught me how to be part of a team and how to lead a team, but also how to handle deadlines, negative responses, and lack of time. Volunteer work is hard and I think the most important thing that it teaches you is solidarity, and the fact that you don’t need material reward to be satisfied because the most important reward is the satisfaction you get from a work well done and from being able to help someone, to make a difference.

I have discovered European Union Law at University. When I applied for this specialization I didn’t know exactly what it was about. The fact is that at that point I didn’t know much of the EU system in general; it was just something that Romania was trying to become a member of. I did read a bit about it before my first year at university but I only got a vague idea about it. As soon as I started to learn about it I found it more and more interesting and as soon as started learning more specific things, I knew this is what I wanted to do, practice European Union Law. I think that it is a big thing that so many different nations could come together by finding a common point of interest and that this lead to a continuous development of the Union. This development concerns not only the constantly growing number of fields in which the Member States decide to come together to find the best solutions in various problems but also to help less developed states.

In my fourth year European Union and International commercial law and got very fond of them, especially competition law. I think that it has a great importance in society’s development. I didn’t experience communism but living in Romania it’s impossible not to know about it. You hear about it from your parents, grandparents, teachers so it is easy to get a full image about it. Also you can still see its effects today, it’s been over 20 years of capitalism and still there a great deal of reminiscences of the system. So it is easy to compare today’s society with the past one and notice the importance of freedom and fairness.

[Gillnetter]

Hello, I intend to apply for a LLM in EU law and I have to write a minimum 2 page statement of purpose but it turned out to be extremely difficult. Could somebody please take a look at it and tell me what I should change about it so I could have a chance to get to my dream school?. thank you very much for your time.
---
I am not one of the people who wanted to become a lawyer since they were in kindergarden. Up to high school I wanted to be a computer programmer and that is the reason I chose a mathematics-informatics class and the reason I took part in informatics competitions. But in my second year of high school I was named class representative, and soon started to get a new perspective on life. I realized that I loved to stand up for other people, to speak in their behalf and to find every possible solution to make things work out for the best. And so, by the last year I realized that I had a new purpose in life, to help other people. I started to realize that maybe a career in computer science wasn’t the best thing for me. That’s when I considered law school.

I soon enrolled in a debate club to see if I had what it takes to succeed in this area. I was happy to see that it came naturally because what I have done so far was a great help in my formation. It was like solving a problem, it was all logical, you just had to analyze every aspect of the situation given, to find the basic problem and find the reasonable “formulas” to solve it. So I decided to apply for a law faculty. At first I was scared when I saw all the books because I was used to learning two formulas and then apply them in various ways to solve problems. But I soon realized that law wasn’t about memorising all those books. I understood that law was about logic, fairness and then things just came naturally. The fact that I loved what I was doing helped me a lot in overcoming hundreds of pages and hours of research.

As many other people around, I study law in order to enforce social order and impartiality, and as I continue with the specialty studies I become all the more motivated. As a major of law, I have attended many courses and read extensively, and now I have started to work independently on certain issues and to learn more of sociological and economic knowledge in order to enrich my foundation of knowledge. During this process of schooling and growth, I have come to identify the object of my greatest interest, commercial law. Through my four years of university I have always been in the top five students in the EU Law specialization, being rewarded with a study scholarship. I worked hard for it but it was worth it. There is nothing compared to how you feel when hard work pays off. I always tried to be better, I was always eager to learn new things and to overcome every problem. I intend to do so from now on and to try to be the best in my field no matter how much work it implies.

I also consider relevant to my development, both as a person and as a professional, my experience with ELSA (European Law Students’ Association). And this is because our educational system is focused on a student’s capacity to study, to accumulate as much knowledge as possible. But by being a part of ELSA I have learned a great deal about life and how to handle various types of situations. It taught me how to be part of a team and how to lead a team, but also how to handle deadlines, negative responses, and lack of time. Volunteer work is hard and I think the most important thing that it teaches you is solidarity, and the fact that you don’t need material reward to be satisfied because the most important reward is the satisfaction you get from a work well done and from being able to help someone, to make a difference.

I have discovered European Union Law at University. When I applied for this specialization I didn’t know exactly what it was about. The fact is that at that point I didn’t know much of the EU system in general; it was just something that Romania was trying to become a member of. I did read a bit about it before my first year at university but I only got a vague idea about it. As soon as I started to learn about it I found it more and more interesting and as soon as started learning more specific things, I knew this is what I wanted to do, practice European Union Law. I think that it is a big thing that so many different nations could come together by finding a common point of interest and that this lead to a continuous development of the Union. This development concerns not only the constantly growing number of fields in which the Member States decide to come together to find the best solutions in various problems but also to help less developed states.

In my fourth year European Union and International commercial law and got very fond of them, especially competition law. I think that it has a great importance in society’s development. I didn’t experience communism but living in Romania it’s impossible not to know about it. You hear about it from your parents, grandparents, teachers so it is easy to get a full image about it. Also you can still see its effects today, it’s been over 20 years of capitalism and still there a great deal of reminiscences of the system. So it is easy to compare today’s society with the past one and notice the importance of freedom and fairness.

When I had realized what I wanted to do, I started to look for a master’s program to fit my interests. There are very few university’s in Romania which have a master’s program on EU law, and even less which have study programs concerning EU Economic Law. As I couldn’t find one in here, I started to look for one abroad. This is how I found XXX, and learned about this program.

XXX’s reputation of academic excellence and its resources plays a big role in my decision. I believe that your school and community will help me get out into the world, well prepared/primed and ready to offer my best in the service of others. I see XXX as the best place to prepare myself to fight competently for the advancement of EU Law and for it being correctly applied and followed.

First of all, I like the subjects that are taught and the fact that by learning them I get to know a lot more about EU law. I am especially fond of EU Competition Law so I was happy to see that your institution assigns it a great importance. It’s a great opportunity to learn from people with a great deal of experience in this field, people, who studied these subjects, people who have access to so much information. I think that trough the intensive seminars I will get a chance to meet practitioners and expert who will guide me, who will offer me the possibility of self development in my areas of interest.

Secondly, I like the teaching methods, I think that individual research is extremely important for a law student. I had to do a lot of research for my final paper because it was on a subject which wasn’t approached in school. The paper is called “State Aid in The Financial Crisis”, and besides knowing what state aid was I had to do the rest with very little help and very few materials. It was amazing - the more I read, the more I wanted to know. I have learned a lot from this, about the current situation, the EU Commission and Romanian institutions and competition law in general and in the current context.

Last but not least I am excited that I have the possibility of studying in Belgium. I like the culture, the people, the multiculturalism, the fact that it’s so close to what EU means. I love the idea of being close to the EU institutions and being in the place where what I am interested in is being created and that one day I could be a part of that. I think that by studying in a multicultural environment will help me better understand the international way of thinking.

As for my future plans I have thought a lot about them and there are so many ways to go. It is hard to say for sure that I will follow one of these paths because it does not depend only on me. It is a little bit hard because there are many things I want to do from helping to create a law to offering my skills to people who feel wronged by the system. I will make a short presentation on the things I would like to do after entering the program.
First I will try to get a position at the EU Commission and work on competition law. I would like to work both in research for elaborating legal documents but also in supervising companies’ conformity to EU competition law. I would like to do this because as much as I like applying the law I think that law itself is extremely important, and that it needs to permanently adapt to our rapidly changing society. I intend to take my bar exam in the fall and after I become a lawyer I would love to work in this position for the Commission or for a Law firm in the area of Competition Law. This way I could participate in law enforcement and also making sure that anyone who tries to break the law will be sanctioned in the appropriate way.

At a certain point, I would like to be able to change something in Romania. This could be done either by working in Romania for the National Council of Competition or by working as a lawyer in this field. At this point, working for the Commission would certainly help me do that. I know that I wouldn’t be the one dictating the rules but I could certainly help in changing something. More on by working for the commission I could help finding solutions appropriate to the common interest of the EU Nations so that there would be equality in applying the law in every state.

This is too long to be edited since there is a limit of 10,000 characters. I suggest that you break this into two or three parts and repost them. I have underlined certain words that should be changed. You use "hard" too often. Look at the difference between "hard" and "difficult".

[claudianagy]

I split it up thank you very much for your answer. I hope now it will be easier. If by any chance you think that something should be left out or if something else should be mentioned please feel free to say so.
I am really nervous about this letter because I want to follow this program.
Thank you again

[Gillnetter]

Hello, I intend to apply for a LLM in EU law and I have to write a minimum 2 page statement of purpose but it turned out to be extremely difficult. Could somebody please take a look at it and tell me what I should change about it so I could have a chance to get to my dream school?. thank you very much for your time.
---
I am not one of the those people who wanted to become a lawyer ever since they were in kindergarden kindergarten. Up to high school, I wanted to be a computer programmer and that is the reason I chose a mathematics-informatics class and the reason I took part in informatics competitions. But in my second year of high school I was named class representative, and soon started to get a new perspective on life. I realized that I loved to stand up for other people, to speak in on their behalf and to find every possible solution to make things work out for the best. And so, by the last year (the last year of high school or last year?) I realized that I had a new purpose in life, to help other people. I started to realize that maybe a career in computer science wasn’t the best thing for me. That’s when I considered law school.

I soon enrolled in a debate club to see if I had what it takes took to succeed in this area. I was happy to see that it came naturally because what I have done so far was a great help in my formation. It was like solving a problem, it was all logical, you just had to analyze every aspect of the situation given, to find the basic problem and find the reasonable “formulas” to solve it. So I decided to apply for to a law faculty. At first, I was scared when I saw all the books because I was used to learning two formulas and then applying them in various ways to solve problems. But I soon realized that law wasn’t about memorising all those books. I understood that law was about logic and fairness and then things just came naturally. The fact that I loved what I was doing helped me a lot in overcoming hundreds of pages and hours of research.

As many other people around do many other people, I study law in order to enforce social order and impartiality, and as I continue with the specialty studies I become all the more motivated. As a major of law major, I have attended many courses and read extensively, and now I have started to work independently on certain issues and to learn more of sociological and economic knowledge in order to enrich my foundation of knowledge. During this process of schooling and growth, I have come to identify the object of my greatest interest, commercial law. Through my four years of university I have always been in the top five students in the EU Law specialization, being rewarded with a study scholarship. I worked hard for it but it was worth it. There is nothing compared to how you feel when hard work pays off. I always tried to be better, I was always eager to learn new things and to overcome every problem. I intend to do so from now on continue and to try to be the best in my field no matter how much work it implies.

I also consider relevant to my development, both as a person and as a professional, my experience with ELSA (European Law Students’ Association). And this is because our educational system is focused on a student’s capacity to study, to accumulate as much knowledge as possible (Who is "our"? Is accumulating more knowledge a part of the ELSA's purpose?). But by being a part of ELSA, I have learned a great deal about life and how to handle various types of situations. It taught me I learned how to be part of a team and how to lead a team. but I also learned also how to handle deadlines, negative responses, and a lack of time. Volunteer work is hard difficult and I think the most important thing that it teaches you is solidarity, and the fact that you don’t need material rewards to be satisfied because the most important reward is the satisfaction you get from a work job well done and from being able to help someone, to make a difference.

I have discovered European Union Law at university. When I applied for this specialization I didn’t know exactly what it was about. The fact is, that at that point, I didn’t know much of the EU system in general; it was just something that Romania was trying to become a member of. I did read a bit about it before my first year at university but I only got a vague idea about it. As soon as I started to learn about it I found it more and more interesting and as soon as I started learning more specific things, I knew this is what I wanted to do, practice European Union Law. I think that it is a big thing important that so many different nations could come together by finding a common point of interest and that this leads to a continuous development of the Union. This development concerns not only the constantly growing number of fields in which the Member States decide to come together to find the best solutions in for various problems but also to help less developed states.

In my fourth year at the university I studied European Union and International commercial law and got very fond of them, especially competition law. I think that it has a great importance in society’s development. I didn’t experience communism but living in Romania it’s impossible not to know about it. You hear about it from your parents, grandparents, teachers so it is easy to get a full image about it. Also you can still see its effects today, it’s been over 20 years of capitalism and still there a great deal of reminiscences of the system. So it is easy to compare today’s society with the past one and notice the importance of freedom and fairness.

Gil