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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 08-Aug-2005, 01:32
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Default Help: to enrich my APPLICATION/RESUME

Please try to help me with the following APPLICATION. Sometimes I do feel that my presentation is too poor, not persuasive and not impressed either.
If you happen to have a nice templates then you can show me. And i suppose there may problems cause you are not sure about my characters.... so i have a Resume here as well.

Application
Dear Sir/Madam:

I take the liberty of writing to you. I am convinced if you dream, dream out loud and put the vigor and enthusiasm both in work and life will achieve the goals.

I am a person just like a coin, and I think you can find the shining merits of me, such as: strong will, ability of self-education, actively to cooperate with others, always be kind to others, etc.

In 2002, I graduated from 8888where I majored in 88888, as well as Shanghai International Studies University which I self-educated and majored in English language.

The first work I took was to be a 8888 where I learned how to be a successful employee in work: not only love your job, but also the team spirit. Steps keep me go ahead. I seized the opportunity to be a 8888 in a private-owned company where I learned so much and realized so much to learn.

The position of your company really attracts me a lot, and I will grab and cherish this, if I have this honor to work in this company.

Do thanks for your time.

Best Regards!
Xxxx

RESUME
NAME XXXX GENDER FEMALE
BIRTHDAY 27TH, JULY, 19** NATIONALITY 8888
WORKING YEARS MORE THAN TWO YEARS HEIGHT 166cm
FAMILY ADDRESS: ROOM 5**, 4** DEPARTMENT JIEFANG NEW VILLAGE, FENGXIAN
PHONE(H): 57**1261
CELL PHONE: 137**44902**
E-MAIL: ****@hotmail.com
EXPECTED SALARY
EXPECTED POSITION:Translator
EXPERIENCE
2002.11- SHANGHAI ******CO.
PROPERTY: PRIVATED OWNED CO.
INDUSRTY: MANUFACTURE
DEPARTMENT: PURCHASE DEP.
OCCUPATION: TRANSLATOR
DESCRIPTION: ISSUE DOCUMENTS AND CONTACT WITH INTERNATIONAL SUPPLIERS
2001.11—2002.9 **** INTERNATIONAL EDUCATION CO.LTD
PROPERTY: TAIWAN CO.
INDUSTRY: EDUCATION, TRAINING
DEPARTMENT: KIDS TRAINING DEP.
OCCUPATION: KINDERGARTEN TEACHER
DESCRIPTION: ENGLISH LANGUAGE TEACHING
ITEM EXPERIENCE
2003-4--2003-6 MBA PAPER——CITY PLANNING(TAIWAN)
DESCRIPTIOM: PAPER FOR MASTER DEGREE(50,000WORDS)
DUTY: TRANSLATE CHINESE INTO ENGLISH
PART TIME OTHERS
EDUCATION
2003.3- SISU ENGHLISH LANGUAGE BACHELOR
1999.9—2002.6 SISU BASIC ENGLISH LAN. COLLEGE DEGREE
1997.9—2002.6 SHANGHAI P&T SCH MIS COLLEGE DEGREE
OTHER TRAINING
2003.3—2003.10 SHANGHAI NORMAL UNIVERSITY PRE-SCHOOL EDUCATION FOR KIDS
CERTIFICATES
CET 6 TEACHER QUALITFICATION PC OPERATION CERT.
OA CHINESE MANDRIN COMERCIAL BUSINESS ACOI


THANKS FOR YOUR TIME!


THanKS,
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Old 09-Aug-2005, 13:09
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Default Re: Help: to enrich my APPLICATION/RESUME

I have a hard time even reading this. Please feel free to send it as p.m. but not in caps. What position are you applying for? This does not say anything about your experience and/or what you want to do going forward.
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Old 10-Aug-2005, 00:50
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Default Re: Help: to enrich my APPLICATION/RESUME

thx.
I apply for a position of tanslator
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Old 10-Aug-2005, 00:54
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Default Re: Help: to enrich my APPLICATION/RESUME

could there be RESUME SAMPLE/ TEMPLATE for reference? thx
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Old 10-Aug-2005, 12:38
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Default Re: Help: to enrich my APPLICATION/RESUME

Quote:
Originally Posted by gogu
thx.
I apply for a position of tanslator
Please read what you just posted. Thank you.
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Old 10-Aug-2005, 12:40
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Default Re: Help: to enrich my APPLICATION/RESUME

Quote:
Originally Posted by gogu
could there be RESUME SAMPLE/ TEMPLATE for reference? thx
Windows has some basic templates. You will also find a lot of information on the web. First you need to remove embellishments, unrelevant information and then spell check. Just pluggin it in a template does not necessarily do the job.
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Old 10-Aug-2005, 15:38
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Default Re: Help: to enrich my APPLICATION/RESUME

Please don't use flowery language while writing your employment documents. Be direct and sound professional. Also, I find lots of punctuation errors in the entire document. Sentence constructions are also not up to the mark. In the first sentence, explain how you learned of the position. That will increase the interest of your reader. Your resume and cover letter are so cluttered and full of errors, it will be difficult for your hiring manager to keep reading your entire documents and call you for an interview.

Don't mention gender and nationality in your resume. Make separate paragraphs for your educational and professional qualifications. Clearly mention your job responsibilities of your previous posts. Include a profile/an objective sentence in the beginning of your resume.

------------------------------------------
'Instant' Cover Letters Without Writing!
Click here: http://pes2004.amazingcl.hop.clickbank.net
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Old 11-Aug-2005, 03:41
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Default Re: Help: to enrich my APPLICATION/RESUME

Thanks guys. I did better this time?

Jane You
Room 502, Building 439 JieFang New Village
Fengxian 201400, Shanghai
Mobile:13774490201
e-mail : EMAIL REMOVED - Send PM to This User Instead

-----------------------------------------------
ATTN: Human Resources Department
To Whom It May Concern,

Having doing well in my career of English translating and interpretation, I am still interested in expanding my professional horizons by seeking new challenges in the area of administration or office coordination combined with the work of translation. I'm interested in translator or interpreter position with your firm and have enclosed my resume for your review and consideration.
As you can see, my career in international business negotiation, contract/order issuing, paper / document translation is extensive. I have enjoyed in the job as an effective translator/interpreter, design, production coordination between oversea manager and staff in China, and have a knack for immediately establishing a good rapport with clients and colleagues.

As a team member of your organization, I can provide.
。Efficiency, reliability, accuracy in my translation.
。Maturity, honesty, ability to look at challenges as opportunities.
。Ability to develop and improve of other skills and administration expertise.
My objective is to establish a time when we can talk on the phone to discuss how my talent, professionalism, and enthusiasm will add value to your operation. Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to speaking with you soon.
Sincerely,
Jane You
Enclosure : Resume



Jane You
Room 502, Building 439 JieFang New Village
Fengxian 201400, Shanghai
Mobile:13774490201
e-mail : EMAIL REMOVED - Send PM to This User Instead
-------------------------------------------------------
OBJECTIVE: Seeking a challenging position as English translator /interpreter with a growth-oriented organization where my skills, experience will be utilised to their full potential.

WORK EXPERIENCE:
2002.11- Present Employer: SHANGHAI HENGFU KITCHEN CO.
Position: English translator/interpreter
*Receive and contact with international clients and suppliers.
*Develop business negotiations and issue contracts/orders.
*Chase up and report the production schedules for oversea clients.
*Translate specifications, instructions and other documents within the company. (From English to Chinese or from Chinese to English)


2001.11—2002.9 Employer: LADDER INTERNATIONAL EDUCATION CO.LTD
Position: Kindergarten teacher
*Teaching American Style English for kids at the age of 4-6.
* Lesson design
Part time job as a translator/interpreter: (cite one)
2003-4--2003-6 MBA PAPER——CITY PLANNING(TAIWAN)
* PAPER FOR MASTER DEGREE(50,000WORDS)(from Chinese to English)
-----------------------------------------------------
PERSONAL STRENGTHS :
*Three years of extensive work experience in translation and interpretation.
*Very good working knowledge in translation and interpretation of mechanical and electric appliance.
*Able to learn and master new information in a short time.
*Able to co-ordinate the product design and production schedule within the firm.
*Clear about the flow of goods import and export .
*Well-organized, efficient, quick learner, self-motivated and hard working.

EDUCATION AND TRAINING :
1997-2002 Major : Management of Information System (MIS)
Shanghai Post and Communication School
Diploma In MIS

1999-2002 Major : English Language (self-education)
Shanghai International Studies University
Diploma In English Language
2002-- Major : English Language (self-education)
Shanghai International Studies University
Bachelor Degree In English Language

2003 (6months) Major : Pre-school Education /Teaching
Shanghai South East Normal University
Teaching certificate

PAPERS, DISSERTATIONS AND AWARDS :
2002 MIS paper of School intranet
1997-2002 “Triple-A” outstanding student; model student;; students pacemaker
SPECIAL INTERESTS : Chinese classic literature
HOBBIES : Music, reading, hiking and stamp collecting
LANGUAGES : Chinese, English and German
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  #9 (permalink)  
Old 12-Aug-2005, 05:50
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Default Re: Help: to enrich my APPLICATION/RESUME

This time, your cover letter and resume are definitely better than the last time.

Please note down the following points:

In the first sentence of your cover letter, explain how you learned of the position. That will increase the interest of your reader.

There are some grammatical mistakes, for eg., in the first sentence you have written "Having doing well in my career", which actually would be "having done well in my career". So, proofread your docuents over and over again.

Explain how appointing you will do good to the company instead of just mentioning that it will do good.

While mentioning your past job responsibilities, use simple past tense to begin your sentences.

Put your educational qualifications in the beginning of your resume.
----

Last edited by Tdol : 25-Mar-2006 at 07:21.
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  #10 (permalink)  
Old 12-Aug-2005, 11:52
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Default Re: Help: to enrich my APPLICATION/RESUME

Your link to a professional resume service may be confusing for students whose language skills are still somewhat limited.
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