Could a teacher please proof read and give paragraph advice
I would be grateful if a teacher could have a look at this to try and highlight any basic mistakes for me: misplaced words, poor paragraphing, saying things twice, etc...
It is lomg winded I know but has to be due to my lack of qualifications.
Thanks in advance
A handful of ‘O’ levels and a couple grade 1- CSE’s was scant reward for my efforts at school, however, on reflection probably what I deserved. So having underachieved, I accepted a place on the then mandatory YTS scheme at Centrax. A local engineering company who were an approved supplier of high quality machined components and assemblies to companies all over the world. Siemens and Rolls-Royce being its most distinguished customers. But sadly after the government sponsored scheme had run its course, no jobs were forthcoming and I was forced to move on.
The following week a close friend alerted me of a part time job as a ductwork fitter’s mate on a project in London. My duties were to assist fitters in the installation of mechanical services. The job involved interpreting fully coordinated working drawings and the installation of the ventilation systems shown on them. At first it was a case of doing what I was told but with experience came knowledge and coupled with my ability I was soon doing many things unassisted. Two years later the security of employment combined with the desire to own my own home and start a family was a major factor when accepting the offer to work as an employed fitter for a local ventilation company. I had been working on a self-employed basis up until then. These years were both enjoyable and progressive for both me and my family. In 1997 this company ceased trading but with their demise came an opportunity for me to source the necessary labour to complete ongoing projects.
I seized the chance and this was to be my first dealing with my previous employer, Isotemp Ductwork Ltd. A company based in South Wales who had recently set up a satellite office in Devon to complete existing, tender for, and win new contracts in the area.Although I was only a one man band at the time, my business flourished. Working relationships with several other ductwork companies were forged, my turnover increased, and two - occasionally three – pairs of men would be working under my control on a regular basis. It was during these three years I got to understand and developed a basic knowledge of the industry and how it operates.
In 1999 things on site were going very well, sadly my heath was not. The Petit mal epileptic seizures –mild confusion for a matter of seconds - that I had been experiencing and capable of dealing with since childhood had become more prolonged and had evolved into grand-mal seizures. My driving licence and public liability insurance policy were revoked and working on-site became impossible. My GP referred me to a specialist at Frenchay Hospital in Bristol.
The prognosis was good. He told me I could be treated over a three year period. It would involve surgery to remove some scar tissue from my brain and the implant of a nerve stimulator. He hoped the seizures would be manageable during the treatment and eventually stop! He added that it would be good for me to set myself a target to help with my rehabilitation.The target I set myself was to return to work. Not on site but in an office as a CAD draughtsman with the view of one day becoming a Manager.
I approached Isotemp, told them I had set myself this target and did enough to convince the office manager that my aspirations were realistic. Soon after passing my City & Guilds - Computer Aided Draughting and design level 3- course I negotiated a salary with them and was duly employed.Using Auto Cad LT 98, the job was to convert a consultants drawing – often schematic and only showing the ventilation requirements of a building - into a working drawing for both ductwork manufacture and installation. Each drawing would be submitted to the consultant for comment, the comments would be addressed and then each item of ductwork would be given an identity before being issued for manufacture. After Eight years in the drawing office and at the same time as a new driving license was authorised - having been seizure free for three years - I was rewarded for my efforts and appointed South West Contracts Manager in June 2008. As well as controlling and working in a drawing office using 3D Auto Cad came the added responsibilities of: site management, Health and Safety assessments, programming and sequencing of work, manufacture, labour levels, site progress, the execution of company policy and being the first point of contact for clients.
Again things were looking good for me but that was until earlier this month when the Managing director broke the devastating news to me that the company was to be liquidated! Difficult trading conditions and Cash flow were the two reasons he cited.
Even though both turnover and profit margins on the contracts being overseen from our satellite office in Devon were more than acceptable, we were all to be made redundant and with immediate effect.
I suspect there are many more reasons why but they are not important now. What is important is for me to find employment and make the most of my management skills and 25 years experience in the workplace. My contact details are attached so please get back to me if you think I am a suitable candidate for the vacancy of draughtsperson. I look forward to receiving a positive response from you soon.
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