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Old 27-Oct-2005, 02:53
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refee is on a distinguished road
Default only a few lines to check.... thx

After graduating from Zurich Business School and a three-year education programm with UBS, I started my studies at Zürcher Hochschule Winterthur. Due to a negative assesment result in 2005, I reconsidered my plan and I decided to go further on my professional development. I would like to take this step with **COMPANY**.
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Old 28-Oct-2005, 14:07
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Default Re: only a few lines to check.... thx

Quote:
Originally Posted by refee
After graduating from Zurich Business School and a three-year education programm with UBS, I started my studies at Zürcher Hochschule Winterthur. Due to a negative assesment result in 2005, I reconsidered my plan and I decided to go further on my professional development. I would like to take this step with **COMPANY**.
Zurich or Zuerich?
Please start all over again.

Negative assessment - you start your cover letter saying you basically could not handle school.
I reconsidered my plan - it sounds like you are applying for a job but it is option 2/2
Further on my professional development - fluff, your potential employer wants to know what you can do for them.
I would like - you would like or you want?

You may think this is harsh - anything wishy washy moves to file 13 - out of sight. Try again! Sit in front of a mirror and talk like you are in an interview then write it out.
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Old 30-Oct-2005, 07:36
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Default Re: only a few lines to check.... thx

Your cover letter needs to be rewritten. It only shows your negative attitude. I'm sorry to write this, but this is true. A well-written cover letter is a most effective tool in your job hunt. To ensure that you make it into the probables pile you must create a targeted, professional cover letter that ensures your resume is given the attention it deserves.

Also, the spelling of 'assesment' is wrong. It should be assessment.
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Last edited by Tdol : 25-Mar-2006 at 07:20.
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