Motivational Letter and Scholarship Request

[Ilaria Passon]

Hi Everyone! I'm Ilaria from Italy. I'm applying to a Fashion Styling program and I need to write a motivational letter together with the request for a scholarship. Do you think it's enough or do I need to add anything else? Thank you for your help



To whom it may concern:


Sub: Application for Scholarship Program, 2012-2013


Dear Sir/ Madam,
With this letter, I would like to apply for the scholarship program to attend the BA (Hons) Degree program in Fashion Styling at Istituto Marangoni, London.
My name is Ilaria P*****. I am 19 years old I am currently living in London although I am from Gorizia, a small town on the Slovenian border, in Italy.
I studied ancient Greek, Latin, art, literature and philosophy at Liceo Classico (secondary school) and graduated in 2011, but instead of wasting my time, at university, on a program I was not interested in, I have decided to take a gap year in order to improve my English and be able to attend a fashion college such as Istituto Marangoni.
Since I am Italian I guess art and fashion have always been in my genes, but truth is that I have never imagined myself working outside the field of art, whether we are talking about a work of art or a piece of clothing.
I am concerned with being in the right place, being around the right people. Because I think I will have plenty of opportunities to do interesting things if I am kind of in the centre of things. I am confident that Istituto Marangoni is the best school to shape my future the way I imagine as it has the program I am looking for. A terrific benefit of this course is not only to boost chance of my future international career but also I will have opportunities to meet people from various nations and cultures, offering me different points of view and contributing to my flexibility and creativity.
I chose London especially because for me it is the most inspiring city on the fashion circuit: brave, rebel, the centre of ideas and innovation; London is so open to individuality that the output of British designers such as Christopher Bailey, Stella McCartney and Christopher Kane is so creative and diverse.
London fashion is a true representation of all this, of a multiculturated society with an open-minded spirit. There is a greater sense of indipendence from the tradition, a more free style.
I hope that I will be accepted as an applicant and beneficiary of the Scholarship Program in the 2012-13 academic year. I am confident that I am qualified and prepared to meet all requirements of the scholarship. I would be grateful if you could give my application your most favourable consideration.
Please find enclosed a notarized copy of High School Diploma and its official translation into English, copy of an official English Language Certificate, two passport-size photos. Kindly contact me if you require any further details or documents. I hope to hear from you in the near future.
Yours faithfully,




Ilaria P*****

[Ilaria Passon]

Good evening! My name is Ilaria, from Italy. I'm applying to a Fashion Styling program and I need to write a motivational letter together with the request for scholarship. Do you think it's enough or do I need to add anything else? Thank you for your help.







To whom it may concern:


Sub: Application for Scholarship Program, 2012-2013


Dear Sir/ Madam,
With this letter, I would like to apply for the scholarship program to attend the BA (Hons) Degree program in Fashion Styling at Istituto Marangoni, London.
My name is Ilaria P*****. I am 19 years old I am currently living in London although I am from Gorizia, a small town on the Slovenian border, in Italy.
I studied ancient Greek, Latin, art, literature and philosophy at Liceo Classico (secondary school) and graduated in 2011, but instead of wasting my time, at university, on a program I was not interested in, I have decided to take a gap year in order to improve my English and be able to attend a fashion college such as Istituto Marangoni.
Since I am Italian I guess art and fashion have always been in my genes, but truth is that I have never imagined myself working outside the field of art, whether we are talking about a work of art or a piece of clothing.
I am concerned with being in the right place, being around the right people. Because I think I will have plenty of opportunities to do interesting things if I am kind of in the centre of things. I am confident that Istituto Marangoni is the best school to shape my future the way I imagine as it has the program I am looking for. A terrific benefit of this course is not only to boost chance of my future international career but also I will have opportunities to meet people from various nations and cultures, offering me different points of view and contributing to my flexibility and creativity.
I chose London especially because for me it is the most inspiring city on the fashion circuit: brave, rebel, the centre of ideas and innovation; London is so open to individuality that the output of British designers such as Christopher Bailey, Stella McCartney and Christopher Kane is so creative and diverse.
London fashion is a true representation of all this, of a multiculturated society with an open-minded spirit. There is a greater sense of indipendence from the tradition, a more free style.
I hope that I will be accepted as an applicant and beneficiary of the Scholarship Program in the 2012-13 academic year. I am confident that I am qualified and prepared to meet all requirements of the scholarship. I would be grateful if you could give my application your most favourable consideration.
Please find enclosed a notarized copy of High School Diploma and its official translation into English, copy of an official English Language Certificate, two passport-size photos. Kindly contact me if you require any further details or documents. I hope to hear from you in the near future.
Yours faithfully,




Ilaria P*****

[Calis]

Very good!

...wasting my time, at university, on a program I was not interested in,...

The commas surrounding "at university" are unnecessary.

indipendence

Independence.

I hope that I will be accepted as an applicant...

By applying for a scholarship, you are an applicant. You want to be accepted for a scholarship.

Apart from those utterly miniscule, not even mistakes (except for the second one), you can write, at least, English well.