Need help with a letter of motivation for the University. Very Urgent!

Hello, my name is Maksym and I am applying for the Master Program to Oslo.

Here is my letter of motivation. I would be very thankfull to those, who will help me with making it right!

Dear Sir/Madam:
I am a student of the Master Program in Finance at the University of “Kyiv-Mohyla Academy”. I want to get deep knowledge in the sphere of economics to be involved in the development of modern organizations and businesses, and to run my own business in the future. I would like to apply for the Master of Science in Innovation and Entrepreneurship program at the Norwegian Business School.
It is the second year of the Master Program attended by me and it will be finished in June 2012. I already have a Bachelor Diploma in Finance, which was received in June 2010 at the University of “Kyiv-Mohyla Academy” after successfull defend of bachelor thesis and pass of the state examination. The topic of the Bachelor thesis was “The currency market of Ukraine”. In this thesis an econometrical model was developed to measure macroeconomic factors which affect the strength of Hryivna the most.
I have chosen Finance because I am fascinated by the power of numbers, and my dream is to run my own business. During my studying I have been the most successful in disciplines related to calculations. It was always easy for me to study math-oriented subjects, and I have always been among the top students in such classes. It has been interesting to me since my studying in school how the business is run, and that is why I have participated in business case championships and student competitions. Last year in GMC junior competition as a team leader got into semi-finals.
I decided to go to study abroad when I was working as a trainee at the Martin-Bauer Management Service in the department of finance in summer of 2009. There I have understood that innovations are vital for business to stay competitive and, what it is very important, that there is lack of innovation and understanding of how to be an entrepreneur in Ukraine. When I found such a program provided by the Norwegian Business School, I have decided it is the best opportunity for me to further develop my skills. After studying the Study Content of the Program I understood that every subject taught will be of a great interest to me, they will allow me to learn a lot about the processes of my interest, and they require skills which I possess. These are flexibility, goal-orientation, smart-thinking, hardworking, independence combined with ability to play in a team.
Studying the Program, I will develop the set of skills and knowledge which are needed in Ukraine today. They will help me to contribute a lot to the society of Ukraine, to bring the experience of the West to my homeland. I want to become a specialist who will be able to help Ukraine expand and become a strong figure on the world economic map.
Thank you for your consideration. Looking forward to your favorable reply.

Faithfully Yours,
Maksym Mishyn