I'm not good in English. Help me to fix my motivation letter.
Hi all. please help me to fix my letter if there have some mistake.
Dear admission officers,
I appreciate this opportunity to support my application for entrance to the International Business and Management Study at your university for the 2012 fall term.
First of all I would like to introduce myself. I am from Mongolia and have been living in Holland for almost 2 years. I acquired profession of computer programming field and worked about 10 years by my major. I like to see the easiest and rational ways and possibilities of problems, to work in a team, to take responsibility. I’m quick learner, quick mind and good listener. But I’m not talkative, also slow in hand writing.
I worked in my private internet service company for 4 years. In there I was responsible for all business matters such as financial, service and administrative. I think from there I have gained experience in business. Now I have a plan to start my own IT outsourcing company in Mongolia. Mongolia is developing country. In my country has wide opportunity to do business. For example: the scale of taxation is low, cheap labor force, the requirements for starting a new company are not so hard etc. I want to learn from your study how to embed new advanced technology and service, how to control branch sections, how to check their activity, how to extend company, how to settle financial affairs etc.
My living city is nearby Breda. So I can easily travel to school and home. Your university is best major university of applied sciences in the Netherlands, also IBMS is best in the Netherlands. I really appreciate to apply to your school, especially to business management department. I am sure that your university would be an excellent start for my future business career. It lured my interest because this program is project-based and double degree. Most of case people learn many things from the practice. So I hope I can learn many things from this study. By gaining much experience and knowledge, I hope I will become an expert who can work in anyplace in the world. I read student opinions from your site and that seduce my desire to study at your school more.
In conclusion I would like to say that it’s international and high level study. That means there have much rivalry between different students from various countries. From that rivalry and the interaction during the study I can enlighten myself much much more… In addition, if I can graduate at your university and get my degree, then my dream will be come true. I deeply understand that to study in your university, one of the leading universities will require high foreign language knowledge, loading ability of intellectual and mental on behalf of the nominee.
If I have an opportunity to study at your school, I will do my best. Thank you for considering my application.