motivation letter

[safedzie]

kindly scan through this for me.its for an undergraduate application
Growing up as a child, my greatest and earnest dream was to see everyone leave in a peaceful and serene home .As I grew up, I thought this dream could never be a reality. But I realized this dream could be a reality if only I could put my entire being into it and ensure that it was done. I had this great inspiration from a teacher who imparted so much into my life at age 15 during my junior high school education. She got me to understand that this world came along with problems as we made progress, since these problems would certainly come up with us, we ought not to conform to them because they do have solutions attached to them. This little piece of advice has being with me everywhere I have being to in life. Thus, where ever I found myself in and whichever problem that came my way, I believed I did have a solution to it.
In making my dream a reality, I made an observation and realized that our place of settlement and the kind of homes we leave in creates a perception about us and also know how progressive we are getting in life. Also, I got to know the vicinity in which we leave and the structure of our building talks so much about our personality. For instance, most developed countries have several high rise structures and very few low rise structures, which shows the economic growth and well-being of a nation. But this is the vice-versa in developing countries. Thus, in correlation to my dream in life, I do have a natural flair for structures. If each and every individual could afford to leave in a prestigious home, it simply implies life is very comfortable and worth living. This desire of providing affordable structures and its maintenance aggravated my zeal to study Real Estate as a major in the university.
Interestingly, I had a very great exposure about structures and its maintenance after high school. I had the opportunity to assist a foreman on a construction site for three months. Within these three months I learnt several stuffs about buildings and their technicalities as well. This work experience made me understand Real Estate very well. As a result of this instance, I saw the dream of Estate management come into reality.
Through all these great moments as a growing child, I had always wanted to leave away from home to learn the culture of other people to understand the what it meant by tolerance in team work. Team was basically about tolerating and obeying the instruction of the leader after a decision had being made by the entire team. It is in building and management that factors erupt . Thus, I verged to have my high school education in a boarding house which was approximately a 5hrs drive from home. I got to learn a lot for the four years I schooled there.
The question of where to study became my next priority few months to my graduation from high school. I actually had a tough time within as to where I should continue my education when I should complete school. Since I always wanted to be away from home to experience new culture and way of leaving, I really wanted to try something new outside my home country. It sounds so amazing that after several months of pondering over this thought, Holland was the place that came into mind.
The stunning factor that kept me into being in Holland was as a result of the peaceful environment that co exists there. Also, the people are also receiving and accommodative. Now, the problem that came about again was to find an institution that was offering the course that I always desired to study in my entire life even as a child. This program was Real Estate. I had to begin another such for a reputable university that could offer what I desired in a serene environment. It really took me a great deal of time to come across **************. I came across some universities in Holland that offered Real Estate, but I just could not find what I wanted in my dream school in them. A s a result, I had to begin studying Real Estate in *********** in Ghana after my high school results were realized, because I thought I could never come across a great university as **********.
I came across several profiles of universities of Holland as I searched but ******** stood out amongst them. Staring from the location, vision, mission and code of conducts of *******, it is the best place all good students who want to mature in all spheres of their lives. I believe ******** has a lot to offer me in all aspects of my life. Ranging from cultural, moral and social life, ********* is the best place for me to further and pursue my education and also add a meaning to my personality
With reference to my academic transcript, I know very well when I’m offered admission, I in my own way would contribute my best quota to **********. I’m rest assured ******** can count on me to do anything I’m called up to. In spite of all the facilities and comfort *********** offers to its students to make learning very appreciable and practical, I’m stunned most importantly by the business oriented structure of the of the building. This shows so much practicality of what is being thought in this great institution.
In conclusion, I would take responsibility and put in my maximum best to work in a team when offered admission. I am eager to learn the new experiences ********** has to offer me and Real Estate is the course that can offer me the opportunity to explore all this uniqueness of team work and human personality. I am positive that ********* is an excellent place for my ambitious business career and personal development.

[Barb_D]

I believe it is WAY too long, and you take too long to get from your dream to what it has to do with your application.

I am passionate about studying Real Estate because I believe that...

I would like to study at [name of school] because...

I believe I would do well in your program because...

[safedzie]

this is the edited motivation letter
Growing up as a child, my greatest and earnest dream was to see everyone leave in a peaceful and serene home .As I grew up, I thought this dream could never be a reality. But I realized this dream could be a reality if only I could put my entire being into it and ensure that it was done. I had this great inspiration from a teacher who imparted so much into my life at age 15 during my junior high school education. She got me to understand that this world came along with problems as we made progress, since these problems would certainly come up with us, we ought not to conform to them because they do have solutions attached to them. This little piece of advice has being with me everywhere I have being to in life. Thus, where ever I found myself in and whichever problem that came my way, I believed I did have a solution to it.
In making my dream a reality, I made an observation and realized that our place of settlement and the kind of homes we leave in creates a perception about us and also know how progressive we are getting in life. Also, I got to know the vicinity in which we leave and the structure of our building talks so much about our personality. For instance, most developed countries have several high rise structures and very few low rise structures, which shows the economic growth and well-being of a nation. But this is the vice-versa in developing countries. Thus, in correlation to my dream in life, I do have a natural flair for structures. If each and every individual could afford to leave in a prestigious home, it simply implies life is very comfortable and worth living. This desire of providing affordable structures and its maintenance aggravated my zeal to study Real Estate as a major in the university.
Interestingly, I had a very great exposure about structures and its maintenance after high school. I had the opportunity to assist a foreman on a construction site for three months. Within these three months I learnt several stuffs about buildings and their technicalities as well. This work experience made me understand Real Estate very well. As a result of this instance, I saw the dream of Estate management come into reality.
Through all these great moments as a growing child, I had always wanted to leave away from home to learn the culture of other people to understand the what it meant by tolerance in team work. Team was basically about tolerating and obeying the instruction of the leader after a decision had being made by the entire team. It is in building and management that factors erupt . Thus, I verged to have my high school education in a boarding house which was approximately a 5hrs drive from home. I got to learn a lot for the four years I schooled there.
The question of where to study became my next priority few months to my graduation from high school. I actually had a tough time within as to where I should continue my education when I should complete school. Since I always wanted to be away from home to experience new culture and way of leaving, I really wanted to try something new outside my home country. It sounds so amazing that after several months of pondering over this thought, Holland was the place that came into mind.
The stunning factor that kept me into being in Holland was as a result of the peaceful environment that co exists there. Also, the people are also receiving and accommodative. Now, the problem that came about again was to find an institution that was offering the course that I always desired to study in my entire life even as a child. This program was Real Estate. I had to begin another such for a reputable university that could offer what I desired in a serene environment. It really took me a great deal of time to come across **************. I came across some universities in Holland that offered Real Estate, but I just could not find what I wanted in my dream school in them. A s a result, I had to begin studying Real Estate in *********** in Ghana after my high school results were realized, because I thought I could never come across a great university as **********.
I came across several profiles of universities of Holland as I searched but ******** stood out amongst them. Staring from the location, vision, mission and code of conducts of *******, it is the best place all good students who want to mature in all spheres of their lives. I believe ******** has a lot to offer me in all aspects of my life. Ranging from cultural, moral and social life, ********* is the best place for me to further and pursue my education and also add a meaning to my personality
With reference to my academic transcript, I know very well when I’m offered admission, I in my own way would contribute my best quota to **********. I’m rest assured ******** can count on me to do anything I’m called up to. In spite of all the facilities and comfort *********** offers to its students to make learning very appreciable and practical, I’m stunned most importantly by the business oriented structure of the of the building. This shows so much practicality of what is being thought in this great institution.
In conclusion, I would take responsibility and put in my maximum best to work in a team when offered admission. I am eager to learn the new experiences ********** has to offer me and Real Estate is the course that can offer me the opportunity to explore all this uniqueness of team work and human personality. I am positive that ********* is an excellent place for my ambitious business career and personal development.