Could you check my scholarship statement of purpose, please ??

[Tsuri]

So here's my scholarship statement of purpose , I'm going to apply for medicine so it's based on that. I still didn't close haven't finalised it yet though.


Two years ago I graduated from high school. I was full of excitement and ambition to start my university studies, and since it will be my first year of education in my home country (Sudan), I was even more excited. My desire was to study medicine, so I studied hard and got good results that which qualified me to enter the medical school in Sudan. I got the gained admission but unfortunately I couldn't catch the semester start studying there immediately, and that was for due to circumstances beyond my will control.

One year later I applied for to the local university – University of Tabuk - KSA. I started studying the preparatory year putting when my main goal is was to achieve my ambition. In this year we studied the following subjects: Biology, Physics, Mathematics, Chemistry, English and Computer Science, all in English. language I finished it scoring with a score of 4.91 out of 5.00. It was an excellent score that which qualified me to enter apply for any of the university’s respectful respected majors including the medical majors, but due to the strict procedures towards controls on the foreign students in at the university, it I wasn’t able to choose any of those majors.

I still have the hope and I believe that someday I’ll achieve my “wish”. I actually think believe that during this the aforementioned period I gained more a lot of knowledge and more experience. Since I studied Taking the preparatory year that added a lot to my experience and now I know how what is the college life is like. Not to mention In addition to what I learned in this year, and since the subjects were in the English, language my English level became even more better improved greatly. A good prove As evidence for that is of this, I scored 100/100 in Level 2 of the English course. I think now I’m well more prepared than ever to start my undergraduate study, and I hope this scholarship will give me the that opportunity. The scholarship will also give me the chance also to experience a totally different environment, the medium of where communication for me will depend be on in English. That will improve my English speech speaking skills a lot. better

See above for my suggested amendments.

To other users who may be confused - I accidentally edited this post with my amendments instead of writing a fresh post. emsr2d2.

[emsr2d2]

Apologies, Tsuri, I have accidentally edited your original post with my suggested amendments instead of making a new post. However, you can clearly see the changes I made.

[Tsuri]

It's totally ok , thank you sooo much for your effort , I really appreciate your help 😊
But I have one more thing , how's the over all idea of the statement , is it strong enough ? Will it effect the committee ? And do I need to add another paragraph to it or shall I start finishing ???
I'm just so concerned and I want to make sure I'm doing everything right.

[emsr2d2]

I can't help you with that. I have never had to write a statement of purpose or a personal statement, nor have I ever sat on an admissions committee.