Can you please correct my motivational letter?
Can you correct this motivational letter that I wrote in order to apply at Rotterdam School of Management?
These are the given instructions:
-Tell us about your international background: where were you born, where have you lived, what is your nationality, where did you go to school, in what kind of international activities have you participated. You can also write about what you feel you can add to the international dimension of the programme.
-Why are you attracted to an international business programme?
-why you would like to be chosen to participate in the IBA programme atRSM as opposed to another university?
-Tell us about your future plans
And here is the letter:
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing this motivational letter in order to apply for the BSc in International Business Administration at the Rotterdam School of Management.
My name is Andrea Petrini and I am an 18-year-old Italian boy. I was born in Foligno, a small town situated in the center of Italy, and I still live there, but I also lived in the United States for 5 months as I participated to an exchange program in 2011. I attend the scientific bilingual high school of my town where we study both English and French as foreign languages, but when I used to live in the USA, I attended the Crosby High School. Thanks to the great importance that my school gives to humanistic education (Philosophy, History, Literature), I have learned to "think outside the box" and to solve problems through a creative approach. Besides, studying in a Scientific High School, I have also achieved good analytic and rational problem-solving skills, which can be very useful both in teamwork and when working alone.
I have always been interested in foreign countries: everything started when I was 6 years old and I saw a picture of the skyline of New York City on my sister's notebook: I remained mesmerized by its beauty. From that moment, I started to make inquiries about foreign nations and the more I discovered, the more I liked the idea of an international job. Therefore, I decided to do some international experiences. The first relevant one was when I accompanied my father to the global retail trade fair (Euro Shop) of 2011 in Düsseldorf since he needed an interpreter. That was the moment when I realized that international business is what I want to study: I loved that experience because I had the occasion to interact with people from all over the world and I took my role so seriously and enthusiastically that some of the people with whom we were talking thought that I was the director of the firm. Another important experience is my exchange year in the United States. I lived in the small town of Crosby, close to Houston, and I had the chance to attend the local High School, hence improving my English. I also learned how the real American society is and works and I had the possibility to put myself to the test. Finally, my last significant international experience is the trip I did this year to Kępno, Poland, for a meeting for an exchange program funded by the European Union between four middle schools of Italy, Poland, Hungary and Czech Republic on behalf of the middle school where my mother works. Even though my role was simple as I only had to represent the Italian school, this trip has been very important to me since it has been an occasion to experience a different culture for a few days by reason of the fact that I had been hosted by the vice-principal of the Polish school. Furthermore, I have also been abroad for a lot of different reasons, such as my study trip to Ireland and that to France, and I have travelled very much because I think that travelling is the most wonderful thing that a human being can do. Nevertheless, these three are the most complete and meaningful international experiences that I did.
I would like to become the manager of an important internationally-oriented company or organization and this is why I chose to study International Business Administration. My ideal job would be working as the CEO of a sustainable green multinational corporation. I know that I am a very ambitious person, but, in my opinion, this is a quality because it makes me be strongly motivated in my studies and it makes me work hard so as to reach my goals. In addition, I am extremely adaptable and self-sufficient, in fact when I was a child my parents worked until late in the afternoon, so I had to gradually learn to do everything by myself. This has also helped me to become an enterprising and self-confident person, two important characteristics for a manager and for life.
Moreover, I chose to apply at the Rotterdam School of Management because of its remarkable ranking and its strategic position: in fact, Rotterdam is situated in the heart of Europe and it has the biggest harbor of the Old Continent, let alone the fact that it is a cosmopolitan city that supplies plenty of business and cultural opportunities and that two leading multinational companies such as Unilever plc and Royal Dutch Shell plc have their head office there. Furthermore, the RSM is a very prestigious and well known institution with a pragmatic and effective teaching approach.
In addition, a life without risks is a life without success. As you know, I decided to take a risk since I chose to apply for this course at your university, a university that is far away from home and in a country where a language I do not now is spoken. I could study in my native country, where everything would be significantly easier. But I made this decision consciously, as I know that studying at RSM would give me many major opportunities that I would not receive studying in my home country and as I am aware of the fact that I will not disappoint you. I am not afraid to take on this challenge, and I am eager to take on other challenges that I will face in the business world.
As Seneca, the esteemed Latin writer and philosopher, says, time has to be considered not quantitatively, but qualitatively: that means that we have to use time as best as possible because, as he writes, "we die every day" (cotidie mori, from the first Epistula - "letter" - of the "Epistulae ad Lucilium") since death possesses the time that has already passed. And the best way to use my time is to study in an excellent school: that is why I have chosen to apply to the Rotterdam School of Management.
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