#1  
Old 28-Mar-2007, 10:40
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 115
Home Country: Cambodia
Native Language: Cambodian
Current Location: Cambodia
Member Type: Student or Learner
Unhappy Edit my cover Please

Please help edit my below Cover please

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to express my interest in your recently advertised position of Sales which was advertised on Cambodia Daily on 26th March, 2007. Attached to this letter is my resume and certificates, which further details my work experience and qualifications.

I am a freshman who will graduate from the Institute of Foreign Languages (IFL). Prior to entering IFL, I graduated from the National University of Management (NUM) with a Bachelor’s degree in Accounting in 2004. Presently, I am working as a Sales Executive at First Cambodia Co., Ltd. I am responsible for direct sales, including profit and loss activities, customer growth, increasing revenue and personal development. This position has provided me with an outstanding opportunity to continually improve my communication and interpersonal skills.

Although I am enjoying my present job, I am looking out for new opportunities in the same field. I am keen on joining your company and becoming one member of the creative team sincerely and I am confident that I can perform the work effectively and efficiently.

I look forward to meeting you to discuss your needs and my ability to meet them in more detail. In the meantime, please do not hesitate to contact me with any questions you may have. I can be reached at: xxxx or xxxxx

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Last edited by Tdol; 29-Mar-2007 at 06:17.
  #2  
Old 29-Mar-2007, 06:20
Editor, UsingEnglish.com
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 34,371
Home Country: UK
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Default Re: Edit my cover Please

http://www.usingenglish.com/referenc...of-straw.html- Sales what? Normally a job would have a title like 'Sales Manager/Assistant, etc.
on Cambodia- in The Cambodia Daily
is my resume and certificates- are
details my work- detail
becoming one member of the creative team sincerely- I'd remove 'sincerely'
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