Please correct my cover letter

[Choi]

Please check my cover letter which is related to sales business position that wanted to enter some companys.

882-46, Manchon3-dong
Suseong-gu, Daegu
Cellular : 010-4244-6208
E-mail : EMAIL REMOVED - Send PM to This User Instead
September 25, 2007

Mr, Dae-Jung Kim
Human Resources Director
3M, Corporation
273-506, song-dong,
Chung-gu, Seoul

Dear Mr, Dea-Jung Kim

In response to your advertisement on September 25th, 2007 on the internet. If you are
looking for a proper sales business man, I am suitable for the positon you mention. I
have good interpersonal relationships and a team player.

I studied Business Administration and Tourism Management at my university. While
studying my major, I learnt a financial management, accounting, marketing, SCM and
service mind. I worked as a intern in sevilla hotel from May to Aug, 2005. Through this
job, I cultivated to develop an attitude how to take a order politely and what makes
customer feel better. During this summer vacation, I and my friends were elected by
Korea Internet Volunteers and then provided IT training course to the Zimbabwean in
Africa. I was in charge of leader and English interpreter at that time. I’m sure that my
experience and intern employment can contribute positively to your company.

I would enjoy the opportunity to be part of your organization. I will contact you soon
to schedule an interview. I would welcome the chance to talk with you about my qualific
ation for the your position. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely yours

Sign

Pil-Soo Choi

[RonBee]

Corrections in red.

Please check my cover letter which is related to sales business position that wanted to enter some companys.

Delete that wanted to enter some companys (sp).

882-46, Manchon3-dong
Suseong-gu, Daegu
Cellular : 010-4244-6208
E-mail : EMAIL REMOVED - Send PM to This User Instead
September 25, 2007

Mr, Dae-Jung Kim
Human Resources Director
3M, Corporation
273-506, song-dong,
Chung-gu, Seoul

Dear Mr, Dea-Jung Kim

This is in response to your advertisement on September 25th, 2007 on the internet. If you are looking for a proper sales business man, I am suitable for the positon you mention. I
have good interpersonal relationships and am a team player.

I studied Business Administration and Tourism Management at my university. While
studying my major, I learnt a financial management, accounting, marketing, SCM and
service mind. I worked as a intern in Sevilla hotel from May to Aug, 2005. Through this
job, I learned how to take a order politely and what makes a customer feel better. During this summer vacation, I and my friends were elected by Korea Internet Volunteers and then provided IT training course to the Zimbabweans in Africa. I was in charge of leadership training and was an English interpreter at that time. I’m sure that my experience and intern employment can contribute positively to your company.

I would enjoy the opportunity to be part of your organization. I will contact you soon
to schedule an interview. I would welcome the chance to talk with you about my qualifications for the your position. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely yours

Signed

Pil-Soo Choi

I hope that helps.

~R