Please correct my cover letter

[Choi]

Please check my cover letter which is related to sales business position that wanted to enter some companys.

882-46, Manchon3-dong
Suseong-gu, Daegu
Cellular : 010-4244-6208
E-mail : EMAIL REMOVED - Send PM to This User Instead
September 25, 2007

Mr, Dae-Jung Kim
Human Resources Director
3M, Corporation
273-506, song-dong,
Chung-gu, Seoul

Dear Mr, Dea-Jung Kim

In response to your advertisement on September 25th, 2007 on the internet. If you are
looking for a proper sales business man, I am suitable for the positon you mention. I
have good interpersonal relationships and a team player.

I studied Business Administration and Tourism Management at my university. While
studying my major, I learnt a financial management, accounting, marketing, SCM and
service mind. I worked as a intern in sevilla hotel from May to Aug, 2005. Through this
job, I cultivated to develop an attitude how to take a order politely and what makes
customer feel better. During this summer vacation, I and my friends were elected by
Korea Internet Volunteers and then provided IT training course to the Zimbabwean in
Africa. I was in charge of leader and English interpreter at that time. I’m sure that my
experience and intern employment can contribute positively to your company.

I would enjoy the opportunity to be part of your organization. I will contact you soon
to schedule an interview. I would welcome the chance to talk with you about my qualific
ation for the your position. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely yours

Sign

Pil-Soo Choi

[RonBee]

Corrections in red.

Originally Posted by Choi

Please check my cover letter which is related to sales business position that wanted to enter some companys.

Delete that wanted to enter some companys (sp).

Originally Posted by Choi

882-46, Manchon3-dong
Suseong-gu, Daegu
Cellular : 010-4244-6208
E-mail : EMAIL REMOVED - Send PM to This User Instead
September 25, 2007

Mr, Dae-Jung Kim
Human Resources Director
3M, Corporation
273-506, song-dong,
Chung-gu, Seoul

Dear Mr, Dea-Jung Kim

This is in response to your advertisement on September 25th, 2007 on the internet. If you are looking for a proper sales business man, I am suitable for the positon you mention. I
have good interpersonal relationships and am a team player.

I studied Business Administration and Tourism Management at my university. While
studying my major, I learnt a financial management, accounting, marketing, SCM and
service mind. I worked as a intern in Sevilla hotel from May to Aug, 2005. Through this
job, I learned how to take a order politely and what makes a customer feel better. During this summer vacation, I and my friends were elected by Korea Internet Volunteers and then provided IT training course to the Zimbabweans in Africa. I was in charge of leadership training and was an English interpreter at that time. I’m sure that my experience and intern employment can contribute positively to your company.

I would enjoy the opportunity to be part of your organization. I will contact you soon
to schedule an interview. I would welcome the chance to talk with you about my qualifications for the your position. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely yours

Signed

Pil-Soo Choi

I hope that helps.

~R