Cover Letter - please outline my mistakes

[egoiste]

Hello. In order to apply for a 1-semester study in a foreign FH I need to make a couple of documents. Please correct the following, thanks in advance!





Dear Sir,



My name is Stepan Suslenko and I’m interested in exploring opportunities for studying in FH Schmalkalden University of Applied Sciences during the spring semester of 2007 year.


As a third-year student of the Economic Cybernetics subdepartment, I eager to extend my knowledge of applied economics and mathematical approaches to analyzing market economy and making well-timed science-based decisions. I have always been keen on developing algorithms and programming them down, therefore besides the studies I’ve learned PHP, MySQL, C++ tried my best in Linux and FreeBSD. My first yearly essay is connected with processing data in EViews and making corresponding forecast. By this time my academic progress was rated mainly “Excellent”. I want to familiarize myself with foreign practices, compare our countries’ educational systems in order to gain versatile cognition of the topics under study. Over the past two years I’ve realized the importance of teamwork, cooperation and the level of professionalism and communication required for long-term success in the economic field. Additionally, I’m interested in discovering German culture, therefore I’ve been learning German in Goethe-Institut since 2006, June.


I am looking forward to hearing from you and would welcome the opportunity to meet you.


Thank you for your attention.


Sincerely yours,


{here goes my signature}



Stepan Suslenko

[Anglika]

Originally Posted by egoiste

Hello. In order to apply for a 1-semester study in a foreign FH I need to make a couple of documents. Please correct the following, thanks in advance!





Dear Sir,



My name is Stepan Suslenko and I’m interested in exploring opportunities for studying in FH Schmalkalden University of Applied Sciences during the spring semester of 2007 year.[omit - unnecessary]


As a third-year student of the Economic Cybernetics subdepartment, I am eager to extend my knowledge of applied economics and mathematical approaches to analyzing market economy [the market economy/market economies] and making well-timed [based/founded] science-based decisions. I have always been keen on developing algorithms and programming them down, therefore besides the studies I’ve learned PHP, MySQL, C++, and tried my best in Linux and FreeBSD. My first yearly essay is connected with processing data in EViews and making corresponding forecasts. By this time my academic progress was rated mainly “Excellent”.

I want to familiarize myself with foreign practices, and to compare our countries’ educational systems in order to gain versatile cognition of [versatility in/understanding of] the topics under study. Over the past two years I’ve realized the importance of teamwork, cooperation and the level of professionalism and communication required for long-term success in the economic field. Additionally, I’m interested in discovering German culture, therefore I’ve been learning German at the Goethe-Institut since June 2006.


I am looking forward to hearing from you and would welcome the opportunity to meet you.


Thank you for your attention.


Yours faithfully,


{here goes my signature}



Stepan Suslenko

.

[egoiste]

Thanks, Anglika!