Who can find the mistakes in this application letter ;)

[Transmechanicus]

Hi there! I am from Germany and I plan an internship somewhere abroad. I could need some help with my application letter you see below. Every helpful comment is welcome :)

I apply for a placement at Futuremark Corporation Finland in the content- and community-management section. The placement is a part of my study‘s last semester of media management at the University of Applied Sciences Mittweida, Germany. With a high technical affinity and a special interest in your engaged community I would be very glad to work together with Futuremark Corporation. I can begin the placement at 15th March 2008.

My study delivers a widespread theoretic knowledge about different parts of the media business. A main part of the study is media production with a lot of practical tasks. The focus is on webdesign and journalism. Another important subject is the marketing- and public-relations-aspect. I learned how marketing works and which instruments can be used. With projects as the “Medienforum Mittweida” this knowledge was transferred to practical use. The third aspect of my study is the commercial part of media management, consisting of business studies, mathmatics and stochastic.

To gain experience under the real circumstances of free enterprise I absolved different placements in public relations and journalism. Especially my placement at the “4iMEDIA” pr-agency trained my skills to write press releases, deal with media relations and analyse media responses. With my work at the “Krawall” online magazine I learned how journalists handle the public relation attempts in the game-software market and how game-publishers organize their marketing.

Due personal interests such as publishing the digital magazine „Brückenkopf“ for more than five years, I gained desktop-publishing and teamwork know-how. In this project I also extended my skills in webdesign and programming especially by creating a simple content management system (using PHP and mySQL). Now I am able to communicate and work with professionals to solve problems, regardless if they are content- or technic-related.

During my placement I have to make a graduated project report, so I am highly interested in absolving it as independent and determined as possible. If there is a special project I can undertake, I am willing to prepare for it in the weeks before the placement starts.

If you are interested, I will provide you with all necessary documents. I would welcome the opportunity to discuss this letter and my enclosed curriculum vitae.

Yours sincerely,

[Anglika]

Welcome to the forums.

Originally Posted by Transmechanicus

Hi there! I am from Germany and I plan an internship somewhere abroad. I could need some help with my application letter you see below. Every helpful comment is welcome :)

I apply [am applying/would like to apply] for a placement at Futuremark Corporation Finland in the content- and community-management section. The placement is a part of my study‘s last semester of media management at the University of Applied Sciences Mittweida, Germany. With a high technical affinity and a special interest in your engaged community I would be very glad to work together with [for/with] Futuremark Corporation. I can begin the placement at 15th March 2008.

My study delivers a widespread theoretic knowledge about different parts of the media business. A main part of the study is media production with a lot of practical tasks. The focus is on webdesign and journalism. Another important subject is marketing and public relations [you do not need hyphens in this sentence]. I have learned how marketing works and which instruments can be used. With projects as the “Medienforum Mittweida” this knowledge was transferred to practical use. The third aspect of my study is the commercial part of media management, consisting of business studies, mathematics and stochastics.

To gain practical experience, under the real circumstances of free enterprise [this is really overwritten = omit]I absolved [What are you trying to say; "absolve" =declare (someone) free from guilt or responsibility] different placements in public relations and journalism. Especially [In particular, ]my placement at the “4iMEDIA” PR agency trained my skills to write press releases, deal with media relations and analyse media responses. Through my work on the “Krawall” online magazine I learned how journalists handle public relation attempts [promotions] in the game software market and how game-publishers organize their marketing.

Due to personal interests such as publishing the digital magazine „Brückenkopf“ for more than five years, I have gained desktop publishing skills and teamwork know-how. In this project I also extended my skills in web design and programming, especially by creating a simple content management system (using PHP and mySQL). Now I am able to communicate and work with professionals to solve problems, regardless if they are content- or technic-related.[related to technical matters or content].

During my placement I have to make a graduated project report, so I am highly interested in absolving [see comment above] it as independent and determined as possible. If there is a special project I can undertake, I am willing to prepare for it in the weeks before the placement starts.

If you are interested, I will provide you with all necessary documents. I would welcome the opportunity to discuss this letter and my enclosed curriculum vitae.

Yours sincerely,

.

[Transmechanicus]

Hi Anglika,
thank you for the fast answer! About the "absolved"-thing: I just want to say that I finished several placements before. I assume this is a little to German-speaking-style. But "finished several placements" doesn't seem to be the correct phrase, is it?

[Anglika]

How about "I completed" for the first and "...I have to produce a ... which I am interested in making as... " for the second?

[beckliny]

Brilliant!

[Transmechanicus]

Indeed! ^^
Big thanks for your help! I really like this forum :) So that's the final version:

I am applying for a placement at Futuremark Corporation Finland in the content- and community-management section. The placement is a part of my study‘s last semester of media management at the University of Applied Sciences Mittweida, Germany. With a high technical affinity and a special interest in your engaged community I would be very glad to work with Futuremark Corporation. I can begin the placement at 15th March 2008.

My study delivers a widespread theoretic knowledge about different parts of the media business. A main part of the study is media production with a lot of practical tasks. The focus is on webdesign and journalism. Another important subject is the marketing and public relations. I have learned how marketing works and which instruments can be used. With projects as the “Medienforum Mittweida” this knowledge was transferred to practical use. The third aspect of my study is the commercial part of media management, consisting of business studies, mathematics and stochastics.

To gain practical experience I completed different placements in public relations and journalism. In particular my placement at the “4iMEDIA” PR agency trained my skills to write press releases, deal with media relations and analyse media responses. Through my work on the “Krawall” online magazine I learned how journalists handle the public relation promotions in the game-software market and how game-publishers organize their marketing.

Due to personal interests such as publishing the digital magazine „Brückenkopf“ for more than five years, I have gained desktop publishing skills and teamwork know how. In this project I also extended my skills in webdesign and programming, especially by creating a simple content management system (using PHP and mySQL). Now I am able to communicate and work with professionals to solve problems, regardless if they are related to technical matters or content.

During my placement I have to make a graduated project report, so I am highly interested in completing it as independent and determined as possible. If there is a special project I can undertake, I am willing to prepare for it in the weeks before the placement starts.

If you are interested, I will provide you with all necessary documents. I would welcome the opportunity to discuss this letter and my enclosed curriculum vitae.

Yours sincerely,