please revise my recommendation letter

[jayana]

Dear all.

This is my very first post here. My assistant asked me to write a recommendation letter for him. He want to apply to business school in the next month. The university have sent me several questions below.

I want to make a strong recommendation for him. I try to highlight some of his abilities and personal qualities, but I don't want to be sound too cheesy. So, please help me revise something to make it great.

Big thanks.
Jayana


PS: I never write any recom letter before. I will appreciate any feedback.


1. In what area is the candidate most exceptional?

Brian has been my assistant since 2 years ago. When he was still in his last year of college, he did internship job at our company. He led 4 other internship students in doing the internal audit and found an error worth of $200.000 which was not found by our accountant. They also made new accounting system using Access database which is briefer and easier to use. The system was very helpful to us and we still use it until now.

After graduation, I employ him in Serawak to help the opening of the new branch and also setup the financial system there. After 6 month working, I took him to Kuala Lumpur to help me and up to now he shows a great and effective job.

I see him full of great determination. He always does what becomes his responsibility in full strength and always gives his best result. He is also clever and having great analytical and decision making skill. Each time he was asked to make big decision in a very short time with limited data/information, he always has good intuition.

I also want to highlight that he has great quantitative capability and he makes friend with numbers. He can do certain calculation, analyze financial report, forecasting and budgeting in an accurate manner. Some of them were done without calculator or other aid tools.

2. How effective is the candidate when working with others?

He has great communication skill. So many times I was asked to supervise people of some area for certain project. They were 10 years older in average and more experienced than Brian. However, he could give very effective commands to them, while keeping their respect.

His co-worker at the office respected him so much. So far, I have never heard that he has certain problem with people at the office. As far as I know, from office boy, security, up to commissaries, all of them have good relationship with Brian. Whereas, Brian is one of the youngest staff there.

3. How do the candidate’s achievements compare to peers?

Compared to his coworkers, his abilities could be said as superior and he could utilize his abilities and talents very effectively. His achievement so far could only be achieved by other people after 5-6 years of working. However, Brian succeeded in 2 years.

Our company could be said very superior, because we have so many job to do in a very great pressure and all demand high loyalty. Regarding this, I found no problem at Brian. He could work very well although under heavy pressure. He also never misuses the trust I gave to him. In a business, what is more important than trust and integrity?

That is what makes his career very bright and promising. If he works as a burger seller, I am sure that he could become a successful burger seller.

4. How effective is the candidate in communicating verbally, in writing, and through presentations?

He has a very good communication skill, both English and Malay. He also masters some local ethnic language from various regions. (Here, sometimes a meeting would run smoothly if managed in local language.)

I frequently ask him to compose a letter or written report for clients. He writes them in a great formal business language. His writing skill could be matched with journalists or professional writers.

I also often ask him to lead an internal meeting or presentation in front of our clients. He has very good oral skill. He also could make meeting or presentation more effective, and finish them in a shorter time, but not making the participants bored.

5. In what area does the candidate need most improvement?

I have seen so many times when Brian does a certain project in a hurry. He might be too excited. However, usually he missed some trivial things. I have give him advices so many times about this. Recently, it seems that he already found his pace in working.

Working alone or in a team, he did it in the same effective way. However, during my supervision, he seemed too dominating when working in a team or leading a small team to do certain project.

6. Please add any additional statement you may wish to make concerning the candidate’s aptitude for an MBA and/or her or his potential for becoming a responsible and successful business leader.

I once worked with and supervise an MBA student. I thought Brian would be a good MBA candidate. He is a highly motivated person. He’s full of spirit and ambition. I think he would also be able to handle the course load of MBA program, which in fact is quite burdensome. He has so much to give or contribute to the discussion in classroom or to his friends. Do not judge him from his young age or his quite few experiences.

Honestly, my company and I would miss him if he takes MBA degree and leaves us. However, we have an option to choose; perhaps it will be the best for him.

He is a very ‘superior and high quality metal'. With a proper MBA program, he could be shaped into “a very sharp knife”. I will support him one hundred percent if he takes MBA and I am sure that he would be a very influential and successful business leader.

[RonBee]

Say he has been your assistant for two years (rather than since two years ago.)

Say some advice instead of advices.

~R

[jayana]

Thanks RonBee,
how about the rest?

[RonBee]

The university has sent me several questions.

After he graduated from college, I employed him....

More later.

~R