Please tell me if there is something wrong or missing in my request letter

[Unregistered]

Mr.
Academic Vice-President
Ateneo de Naga University




Dear Mr.


Primum Regnum Dei!

My name is Suzain Aguilar taking up BSBA major in Business Management and a graduating student. I am writing in request for you to allow me to take more than the allowable load of subject units this second semester school year 2007-2008.

I still have 34 subjects units left for me to be able to graduate this coming March 2008. That is why I am requesting for your approval to allow me to take 34 subject units this semester.

I am optimistic and will always be appreciative of your approval of my request.

Thank you very much!




Sincerely,




Suzain P. Aguilar



Noted by:


Ms. Debbie Adriano
Department Chairperson
College of Commerce

[Tdol]

Mr.
Academic Vice-President
Ateneo de Naga University




Dear Mr. add name


Primum Regnum Dei! don't use exclamation marks in formal writing

My name is Suzain Aguilar I can see this at the bottom of the page- delete taking up BSBA major in Business Management and a graduating student. I am writing in request for you to allow me to take more than the allowable load of subject units this second semester school year 2007-2008.

I am writing to request permission to take more subject units than are permitted this semester...

I still have 34 subjects units left for me to be able to graduate this coming March 2008. That is why I am requesting your approval to allow me to take 34 subject units this semester.

Thanking you in advance, I look forward to hearing from you.






Sincerely,




Suzain P. Aguilar



Noted by:


Ms. Debbie Adriano
Department Chairperson
College of Commerce