Please check my motivation letter

[Lilla84]

Hello, could you check my motivation letter(for the erasmus project) and tell me if it is correct? thank you in advance :)

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am a biology student from AB University (Rome), I’m graduated in Ecology and I’m actually attending to the first year of the Master (equivalent to 4th year) in Ecology and Evolution.
I am writing to apply for the Erasmus project for the next academic year, at the Institute of Environmental Science (CML) of the faculty of Science in Leiden Univeristy.

I’ll give you some information about my background:
I have raised in a small town in the centre of Sardinia; I ever been interested in biology and environmental problems and at the same time I wanted to live in a bigger city that could give me more opportunities, so I decided to leave my town and go to study in Rome at AB University, where I found a bachelor course that reflected exactly my interests.
I ever been also interest in applying to Erasmus project because, as I’ve done some years ago when I came to Rome, I would like to do a period of study out of my country, and have the possibility to improve my knowledge of English and to learn another language.
I’ve chosen to apply for Leiden University because this is a prestigious university and one of the oldest and most important in Europe, and it’s excellent rating for research make me sure that this would be strongly enrichment experience, both for my studies as well as for my future job.
I’ve visited and red with great attention the “Institute of Environmental Science”(CML) website, and I found very interesting the possibility to do a training research project in contact with other biology students, an experience that would be very stimulant for me.
Precisely I would be interested in doing a research project in “risk assessment of exotic invasive species”, which I would turn into a thesis in my home-country University.
I think that this topic is of a great importance for the sustainable use of the environment, which is one of the main objectives of applied ecology, and I would like to improve my knowledge about this theme, not only from an ecological point of view but also considering the economic and social themes, that are beyond every environmental problem, and about the procedures of risk assessment.

Applying in Erasmus project in Leiden would also give me the opportunity to spend a period in a beautiful and friendly town, in a country that attract me for it’s being so tolerant and open-minded, to come in touch with Dutch culture and kindness, and to meet many other students from other European countries and know other ways of life.

So, in conclusion, I think this would be a very formative experience, as a student as well as a person.

I look forward a your positive response,

My best regards

xxx

[RonBee]

Avoid using the word actually. You can do just fine without it.

What is the point of the phrase in conclusion?

~R

[RonBee]

Originally Posted by Lilla84

I am a biology student from AB University (Rome), I’m graduated in Ecology and I’m actually attending to the first year of the Master (equivalent to 4th year) in Ecology and Evolution.

I am a biology student at AB University (Rome). I graduated with a degree in ecology, and I am in the first year of the Master's program in Ecology and Evolution.