please help me to correct my cover letter and resume

[kate_chan]

Room301 No.21 Lane1800
Don fang Road
Shanghai 200127

16 October 2004
Personnel manager of BNP Paribas (China) Ltd.
13/F., North Tower, Shanghai Stock Exchange Bldg.,528, Pu Dong Rd.(S)
Shanghai 200120.P.R.C.


Dear Personnel Manager

Application for position of Assistant Officer

I’m interested in the position of assistant officer of BNP Paribas (China) Ltd. advertised in the www.zhaopin.com.

I think that it is a challenge job for me to be an assistant officer in such a good international bank. A position with your bank would give me a chance to touch with different people and deal with different problems relevant with bank management. It must be interesting and challenge.

I feel I am well qualified for this position. I have good inter-personal skill and communication skill. I also have basic knowledge to bank products and services. I can speak fluent Mandarin and English, and I can prepare official letters both in Chinese and English. Moreover, I am a hard-working and friendly person. I’d like to deal with different problems. A resume enclosed giving details of my educations, other stills and other trainings. If I got the job, it would be my first full-time job. I will do my best to do it well.

I would be happy to attend an interview to give you more information of me. I can be contacted on 13162504369.

Yours sincerely


Kate Chan



KATE CHAN
Room 301 No.21 Lane 1800 Don Fang Road
Shanghai 200127
Mobile phone: 13162504369
E-mail: EMAIL REMOVED - Send PM to This User Instead

Objective
Seeking an assistant officer position in BNP Paribas (China) Ltd

Summary of Qualifications
 Office2000 proficiency.
 Excellent English with a proficiency of listening, speaking, reading and writing.
 Certificate of Intermediate Interpretation (ATLA/ATII), Dec 2002.
 Certificate of State Spoken English Test (SET)-level B, Nov 2002.
 Certificate of State College English Test-Band 6 (CET-6), June 2002.
 Good at writing official letters and reports both in English and Chinese.

Education
Sydney Institute of Language and Commerce (SILC), Shanghai University Shanghai, China
Post-Diploma of Shanghai University in International Economic and Trade. June 2005. GPA 3.3
Sydney Institute of Language and Commerce (SILC), Shanghai University Shanghai, China
Diploma of Shanghai University in International Trade. Certificate IV of Insearch in English. June 2003. GPA 3.2. Scholarship of second prize in 2000-2001 semester, 2001-2002 semester and 2003-2004 semester.

Work Experience
Weyerhaeuser China Shanghai, China
Worked in hardwood division as intern. Aided in selling and marketing woods. Processed some import and export invoices. Word processing and sending E-mails. Summer, 2002.

[Casiopea]

Welcome

Resume and Cover Letter Examples: click here, and here, and here.

All the best, :D

[Tdol]

advertised in the www.zhaopin.com.

I'd use 'on' and I wouldn't use the article.

http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=8468

[kate_chan]

thank you for giving me help with my cover letter and resume, it is very useful

[Tdol]

I think that it is a challenge job

Shouldn't that be 'challenging'. Also,consider changing 'I think'. I wouldn't use the phrase in a letter like this as it sounds unsure.