Cover letter for erasmus, check it please

[przemski]

This is the letter, please check it for mistakes:

Dear Sir/Madam,

I’m applying for the Socrates/Erasmus programme as a first-year student of the full-time International Studies on the first cycle. My first option is Universidade Nova de Lisboa and the second is Aristotle University of Thessaloniki.

Studying abroad has always been my wish. I consider it as a challenge and an opportunity to explore and identify ways of improving myself. Travels, international relations and history are my biggest interests ,which I am trying to develop. I believe that visiting a new country, meeting new people and discovering new experiences is the best way to develop myself and discover a new ways of thinking.

Portugal and Greek languages and cultures are not very popular in my homeland but I find them very interesting. Portugal is a country of well-known sailors and discoverers. Those people spread Portugal culture and language from Macau to Brazil, so Portugal language is a key not only to Portugal but also to other countries and cultures. Greece is the cradle of European culture. Meeting Greek cultural heritage would be a great adventure and opportunity to broaden my knowledge.

Living and studying abroad has benefits that I could not achieve by a short visit alone. It will allow me to broaden my perspective and contribute to my personal development. Additionally, this scholarship would allow me to interact with students from all over the globe who may study the same programme, thus I will benefit from an enlarged circle of friends and contacts. I consider it as a challenge and an opportunity which certainly will enable me to open my mind.

Thank you for considering my request.

Yours Faithfully,

THANKS!!!

[thod00]

A basic pass, correcting the grammar.

I’m applying for the Socrates/Erasmus programme as a first-year student of the full-time International Studies on the first cycle. My first option is Universidade Nova de Lisboa and the second is Aristotle University of Thessaloniki.

Studying abroad has always been my wish. I consider it as a challenge and an opportunity to explore and identify ways of improving myself. Travels, international relations and history are my biggest interests ,which I am trying to develop. I believe that visiting a new country, meeting new people and discovering new experiences is the best way to develop myself and discover a new ways of thinking.

PortugalThe Portuguese and Greek languages, and cultures, are not very popular in my homeland but I find them very interesting. Portugal is a country of well-known sailors and discoverers. Those people spread Portugal Portuguese culture and language from Macao to Brazil, so Portugal the Portuguese language is a key not only to Portugal but also to other countries and cultures. Greece is the cradle of European culture. Meeting Greek cultural heritage would be a great adventure and opportunity to broaden my knowledge.

Living and studying abroad has benefits that I could not achieve by a short visit alone. It will allow me to broaden my perspective and contribute to my personal development. Additionally, this scholarship would allow me to interact with students from all over the globe who may study be studying the same programme, thus I will benefit from an enlarged circle of friends and contacts. I consider it as a challenge and an opportunity which certainly will enable me to open my mind.

I’m applying for the Socrates/Erasmus programme as a first-year student of the full-time International Studies on the first cycle.

I dont really understand this. Maybe:

I wish to apply for a placement on the Socrates/Erasmus programme with a view to attending the 'International Studies' course starting 2009.

My first option is Universidade Nova de Lisboa and the second is Aristotle University of Thessaloniki.

Not smart. You have just got your application thrown in the trash bin. How do you think Thessaloniki will react when they see they are second best, you are insulting them. Lisbon will see your Greek comments and discard you too. If you cant even be bothered to write a letter to them alone, it means you are very lazy. You can only do this if you they wont see it, ie the program is administered by others.

I see an awful lot of what YOU want and what YOU are interested in, but what can you offer in return? Why select you if you are not going to contribute anything?

I would rewrite saying what you can offer. I would keep all the Portugal parts together and then go on to the Greece parts

[przemski]

Thank you! This letter is only formality, if it is correct, that's enough, the most important are marks and interview.

'I’m applying for the Socrates/Erasmus programme as a first-year student of the full-time International Studies on the first cycle. ' - there I have to write that, I'm studying International Studies, I'm on the first year, first cycle and that studies are full-time, so I didn't have a clue how to construct this sentence.

I have to choose two Universities and there's only one letter to write, so this is why there are Portugal and Greece.

If I'm wrong, correct me, because I received insufficent instructions from my university.