[Essay] be blind to

Status
Not open for further replies.

Ashiuhto

Senior Member
Joined
Nov 30, 2010
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
Taiwan
Current Location
Taiwan
Please help me correct the following paragraph. Thanks!

In my public service career, I have frequently encountered many all-embracing social problems. I calmly observe these problems and analyze the phenomena. They are worrying us. Our society is seriously sick, and we can’t be blind to the gravity of the illness.
 
In my public service career, I have frequently encountered many all-embracing social problems. I calmly observe these problems and analyze the occurrences. They are worrying us. Our society is seriously sick, and we can’t be blind to the gravity of the illness.
 
Who are you referring to when you say "They are worrying us" and "... we​ can't be blind to ..."? You have only spoken about your experience up until that point.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top