[Essay] Someone please review this small essay.

[yassin11]

The chart illustrates the amount of fitness membership of male and female between
1970 and 2000,a period of 30 years. It is clearly seen that men dominated the amount
of membership in the first half of the period, whereas women dominate in the second
half.


The number of male members start the period at just over two thousand and reached
the highs of four thousand in 1975 and five thousand in 1995. the lowest rates were in
1985 and in 2000 where the number declined to one thousand.


the female membership began lower at one thousand and increased in1975 at two thousand.
the rate reached the highs in 1985 and 1995 at just less three thousand.But it decreased again
at two thousand in 2000.


In brief, there were marked differences in rates of male and female fitness memberships in the
period covered.

 

[emsr2d2]

When will you submit this essay to your teacher/tutor?

 

[yassin11]

Thanks for the answer.

In fact I wrote this essay for myself. I have neither a teacher nor tuiture.So I am not going to summbit it.

Thanks.

 

[Raymott]

It looks like an IELTS chart test. (Is it?) We are allowed to comment on those, since they are self-motivated practices. But to do justice to any answer, I'd need to see the graph.
What is the "amount of fitness membership"?

 

[yassin11]

thanks for your answer.

here is the exercice IELTS Exam Preparation - Academic Writing Sample Task 1 #73

 

[emsr2d2]

Thanks for your answer.

Here is the exercise. IELTS Exam Preparation - Academic Writing Sample Task 1 #73

I can't open that link at the moment but please note my corrections to your thread above. Remember capitalisation and punctuation at all times, and the correct spelling of exercis​e.