a redundant instead?

[diamondcutter]

“Can I stay home?” He tried to ask, but words didn't come out. Instead, his mother checked him for a fever and pronounced him good to go to school, even if he couldn't talk. How awful!
http://files.havefunteaching.com/wor...-worksheet.pdf

I wonder if the word ‘instead’ is redundant and if it can be left out.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

No, it's not redundant. Yes, it can be left out.

 

[tedmc]

You could omit it but it helps to make the text clearer as it emphasizes the fact that the mother did the reverse of letting him stay at home.

 

[emsr2d2]

I don't find it natural. It's clear that he didn't even manage to ask his mother if he could stay off school. It clearly says that no words came out. For me, "Instead" should lead on to something like "Instead, a low moan escaped his lips". After that would come the information about what his mother did next. The position of "Instead" makes me expect to hear what came out of his mouth instead of "Can I stay home?"

 

[GoesStation]

The word "he" shouldn't be capitalized. It's meant to tell us who asked the question and, as such, should be part of the sentence in which it's quoted.