a small of hill of food

[GoodTaste]

Is "a small hill of food" natural in English?

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At the self-service dinner in the hotel, as I was leisurely taking time to enjoy different dishes, I observed that 10 meters away from where I sat there were two women at their fifties or sixties who had a small hill of food on the table before them. They looked already full of their stomaches yet still managed to take more food as if wanting to swallow down the small hill of yummy ingredients: The sense of greed was aparently wriiten on their faces. It impressed me as if they were risking their lives to take more so as to overly repay what they'd paid for the dinner. I laughed in silence: "Stupid women! You don't know that your health is far more expensive than the food! Over nutrition kills as malnutrition does."

Source: English writing practice of Think and Writing in English by me.

Here is what a self-service dinner is like:

 

[tedmc]

That is a buffet eat-all-you-can dinner. How about "a mound of food"?

 

[tedmc]

Why is that "a small hill" works whereas "a mound" doesn't?

 

[GoodTaste]

I have underlined parts that are not natural:

At the self-service dinner in the hotel, as I was leisurely taking time to enjoy different dishes, I observed that 10 meters away from where I sat there were two women at their fifties or sixties who had a small hill of food on the table before them. They looked already full of their stomaches yet still managed to take more food as if wanting to swallow down the small hill of yummy ingredients: The sense of greed was aparently wriiten on their faces. It impressed me as if they were risking their lives to take more so as to overly repay what they'd paid for the dinner. I laughed in silence: "Stupid women! You don't know that your health is far more expensive than the food! Over nutrition kills as malnutrition does."

Thanks.

Let me see whether I can mend it:


At the self-service dinner in the hotel, as I was leisurely taking time to enjoy different dishes, I observed that 10 meters away from where I sat there were two women, both about 50 or 60, who had a small hill of food on the table before them. They looked already having eaten their fill yet still managed to take more food as if wanting to wipe out the small hill of delicious ingredients: The sense of greed was obviously wriiten on their faces. It impressed me as if they were risking their lives to take more to satisfactorily get back what they'd paid for the dinner. I laughed in silence: "Stupid women! You don't know that your health is more valuable than the food! Overnutrition kills like malnutrition does."

 

[Rover_KE]

I've moved your thread.

Please post your writing practice efforts for review here rather than in Ask a Teacher.

 

[tedmc]

At the self-service dinner in the hotel, [STRIKE]as [/STRIKE]I was[STRIKE] leisurely[/STRIKE] taking my time to enjoy the different dishes when I observed, 10 meters away from where I sat, [STRIKE]there were [/STRIKE]two women, [STRIKE]both about[/STRIKE] in their 50s or 60s, [STRIKE]who [/STRIKE]had a [STRIKE]small hill [/STRIKE] big pile of food on the table before them. They looked already completely full yet were still trying to eat more as if wanting to devour the pile of goodies in front of them. The sense of greed seems written on their faces. It struck me as if they were risking their health to gorge on more food to get their money's worth for the dinner. I laughed in silence and said to myself: "Stupid women! You don't know that your health is more important than the food! Overeating kills as much as food deprivation does."

My shot.

 

[emsr2d2]

I would understand "a small hill of food" but I would find it unnatural. I'd use "a pile of food" or, if I was exaggerating a bit but also downplaying the exaggeration, "a small mountain of food".

 

[tedmc]

I think comparisons are not bound by rules; it is up to our imagination. What is natural is subjective though we tend to associate naturalness with familiarity.