a travel by the sea

[hatimhussain]

Please correct my mistakes, if any, in this piece of writing.

1. Joseph would never have traveled by ship, if James, his friend, a seaman in a maritime corporation, had not convinced him.
2. James portrayed the traveling through sea so alluringly that Joseph started thinking why he had not traveled by ship before.
3. “You will enjoy the times when your ship will be tearing away the deep blue water heading towards its destination”, James said.
4. “You will remember for whole of your life the symmetrical flies of seagulls over you, every now and then”, he incited Joseph.
5. “You will have an amazing experience of viewing loads of beautiful fishes of different breeds and colors”, he enticed Joseph.
6. Keeping those fabulous scenes in mind, Joseph boarded the ship. Within an hour or so he had experienced all that was mentioned by James.
7. But soon Joseph realized that James had forgotten to reveal him the harsh times of the sea. Permanent swaying of the ship made
Joseph feel giddiness and he started vomiting heavily.
8. The medical staff present there gave him sleeping pills to make his remaining journey trouble free. In his last moments before sleep James
was conscious enough to lament his decision of traveling by sea instead of by air.
9. After that fateful journey, Joseph always kept himself away even from watching movies about ships.

 

[teechar]

1. Joseph would never have traveled by ship, if James, his friend, a seaman in a maritime corporation, had not convinced him (to).
2. James portrayed [STRIKE]the traveling through[/STRIKE] sea travel so alluringly that Joseph started thinking why he had not traveled by ship before.
3. “You will enjoy the times when your ship will be tearing away through the deep blue water heading towards its destination”, James said.
4. “You will remember for the whole of your life the symmetrical [STRIKE]flies[/STRIKE] flocks of seagulls over you, every now and then”, he incited [That verb doesn't work here. Choose another.] Joseph.
5. “You will have an amazing experience of viewing loads of beautiful [STRIKE]fishes[/STRIKE] fish of different breeds and colors”, he enticed Joseph.
6. Keeping those fabulous scenes in mind, Joseph boarded the ship. Within an hour or so, he had experienced all that was mentioned by James.
7. But soon, Joseph realized that James had forgotten to [STRIKE]reveal[/STRIKE] tell/inform him about the harsh times [STRIKE]of the[/STRIKE] out at sea. [STRIKE]Permanent[/STRIKE] Constant swaying of the ship made Joseph feel giddy [STRIKE]iness[/STRIKE] and he started vomiting heavily.
8. The medical staff present there gave him sleeping pills to make the remainder of his [STRIKE]remaining[/STRIKE] journey trouble free. In his last moments before falling asleep, James was conscious enough to lament his decision [STRIKE]of traveling[/STRIKE] to travel by sea instead of by air.
9. After that fateful journey, Joseph always kept himself away even from watching movies about ships.

.

 

[hatimhussain]

Would it be OK if I replace "incited" with "persuaded"?
"You will remember for the whole of your life the symmetrical flocks of seagulls over you, every now and then", he persuaded Joseph.

 

[Tarheel]

No. Just use said to or told there. (Sentence 4.)

There are breeds of cats. There are breeds of dogs. There are breeds of cows and horses (I think). As for fish, we catch them and eat them, but we don't breed them.

I would say James didn't bother to tell Joseph any of the bad things.

I guess Joseph hadn't heard of seasickness.

 

[Tarheel]

You might try:

After that trip Joseph didn't want to have anything to do with ships. He didn't want to talk about them. He didn't want to read about them. And he darned sure wasn't going to see a movie featuring ships.