Could you please review and grade my TOEFL Essay?

Status
Not open for further replies.

Royel

New member
Joined
Feb 14, 2015
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Korean
Home Country
South Korea
Current Location
South Korea
Hello, everyone.

This is Topic of my essay:
People attend college oruniversity for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, careerpreparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Recently, general awareness about whether it is wise for university students to attend classes has aroused heated arguments. Sizeable percentage of people asserts that students from university should attend class while some other people strongly disagree with the above contention. From my own point of view, I believe it is recommend for student to attend classes in university in terms ofacademic learning and building human relationships.

One of essential elements for this issue is that students should learn academic subjects from professors in university. Learning from professors means learningfrom some one who is expert in field. And this is an opportunity that student should not miss during their life. This is largely because there is numerous things to learn and study from their professors in class not only academicreason but also life experience reason. For example, when I was aundergraduate student, I usually learned many crucial things from professors inuniversity such as their knowledge, tips and lesson for living life, what toprepare for after university and others. These tips and lessons were priceless,which cannot easily attain. Likewise, attending class and learning fromprofessor is great lesson for young students not only for academic but also wayof living in society.

Another important aspect of this issue is that students can build their relationshipwith others by attending classes in university. Generally speaking, it is noteasy to make friends or get close to strangers. In university, however, people incline to build their human networks by attending class, doing group work orproject, and making activity clubs. This mainly attributed to fact thatbuilding human relationship can lead student to build successful career fort heir future. To illustrate, I build solid human networks around me when I joined university social club, and got benefits from people around me that they helped me to find internship during vacations and shared useful sources forfinding a job. In this respect, attendingclass is a one of big opportunities for students to build human network for their successful life after graduate.

Conclusively, in support of the above-mentioned substantiation, I firmly hold the standpoint that university students should take chance to learn from expert scholars andto build vigorous human network for their benefits. Therefore, students in university should attend the class for their own good.
 

emsr2d2

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
UK
Hello, everyone.

This is the topic of my essay:

People attend college oruniversity for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, careerpreparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Recently, general awareness about whether it is wise for university students to attend classes has aroused heated arguments. Sizeable percentage of people asserts that students from university should attend class while some other people strongly disagree with the above contention. From my own point of view, I believe it is recommend for student to attend classes in university in terms ofacademic learning and building human relationships.

One of essential elements for this issue is that students should learn academic subjects from professors in university. Learning from professors means learningfrom some one who is expert in field. And this is an opportunity that student should not miss during their life. This is largely because there is numerous things to learn and study from their professors in class not only academicreason but also life experience reason. For example, when I was aundergraduate student, I usually learned many crucial things from professors inuniversity such as their knowledge, tips and lesson for living life, what toprepare for after university and others. These tips and lessons were priceless,which cannot easily attain. Likewise, attending class and learning fromprofessor is great lesson for young students not only for academic but also wayof living in society.

Another important aspect of this issue is that students can build their relationshipwith others by attending classes in university. Generally speaking, it is noteasy to make friends or get close to strangers. In university, however, people incline to build their human networks by attending class, doing group work orproject, and making activity clubs. This mainly attributed to fact thatbuilding human relationship can lead student to build successful career fort heir future. To illustrate, I build solid human networks around me when I joined university social club, and got benefits from people around me that they helped me to find internship during vacations and shared useful sources forfinding a job. In this respect, attendingclass is a one of big opportunities for students to build human network for their successful life after graduate.

Conclusively, in support of the above-mentioned substantiation, I firmly hold the standpoint that university students should take chance to learn from expert scholars andto build vigorous human network for their benefits. Therefore, students in university should attend the class for their own good.

You have a major problem with missing spaces between words. I have marked them all in red above. Please click on "Edit Post" and add the spaces, then click "Save".
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top