Please review my application fee waiver form

[Sebbi]

I would be grateful if my application fee waiver form for the MasterCard foundation scholarship is reviewed. The deadline is before 25/11/2022. Thanks

Part 1: Please provide a short statement (250 words maximum) which explains your motivation for the proposed Master’s degree at Cambridge, and how this might help develop your skills, knowledge and expertise to make a contribution to climate-resilient sustainable development futures for Africa.

My name is XXX and here is my motivational letter and interest in applying to Mastercard Foundation Scholars Program, an Application Fee Waiver Form 1 December 2022.
Since my school days, I have always had a passion for technological and scientific knowledge, a burning desire to succeed, and a strong intention to become a technical professional. A career related to technology has always been my goal. For this reason, I decided to study Mathematics Education for my bachelor’s degree and a Higher National Diploma (HND) in Statistics & Mathematics respectively.
Over the decade years of working as the District Statistics Officer for XXX and XXX, I realized that the majority of headteachers at both private and public elementary schools have been unable to deliver timely, accurate, and efficient data due to a lack of proper record-keeping, and understanding in data value creation chains. These issues impede the generation of statistics and data (Information) necessary for successful planning and decision-making for Schools and the District.
In order to curb this problem, I developed an interest in the data science field and found that an MPhil in Data Intensive Science at the University of Cambridge is the right place for me. This research master’s will serve as an eye-opener for me as I would learn, gain theoretical and practical experiences and become an expert in statistical data analysis, machine learning and AI, and research computing and software development.
I believe that my strong background in data analytics, statistics, and mathematics gives me the necessary skillset and learning capacity to be a suitable candidate for your graduate program.

Part 2: Additional Information (limit 150 words)

In today`s world of the digital age, data drives the world. Both Public and private organizations in all sectors face an avalanche of digital data. Data when it has been processed and analyzed, interpreted, accessed, and shared to suit organizational needs and goals becomes information and knowledge for the organizations that can be used for informed decision-making and is of great interest and value.
A report also published by the EU Data Market Study estimates that the “number of data users will each more than 1.3 million in 2020 while the overall data market will likely reach € 111 billion under high growth conditions”. This creates a significant concern for the companies, which is why skilled professionals or experts with the skills, knowledge, competency, and experience in the use of scientific methods, processes, algorithms, and systems to extract insight and knowledge from complex, structured, and unstructured data are needed.
In conclusion, technological advancements have created many possibilities, as well as a high need for those with the technical ability to take advantage of these opportunities. I am driven to fill this demand, and a Mastercard Foundation Scholars Program for an MPhil in Data Intensive Science at the University of Cambridge would provide me with the essential competence.

 

[teechar]

Do you not also need to outline why the fees should be waived for you? I mean, do you need to indicate financial limitation or hardship, for example?

 

[Sebbi]

Do you not also need to outline why the fees should be waived for you? I mean, do you need to indicate financial limitation or hardship, for example?

Dear Teechar,
Although the financial limitation was not directly indicated, I would appreciate it if it would be coined in the application for me.
Thank you

 

[emsr2d2]

Dear Teechar, Unnecessary. You're not writing a letter.

Although the financial limitation was not directly indicated, I would appreciate it if it would be coined in the application for me.

Thank you Unnecessary. Thank us after we help you, by adding a "Thanks" icon to any useful post.

I have no idea what your main sentence means. If it's an "application fee waiver form" (which is what you called it), then the main point of it should be the application and basis for your believing your fee should be waived. That appears nowhere in your piece.

You said "I would appreciate it if it would be coined in the application for me". That means nothing. Are you trying to ask us to write the application for you? If so, we can't and won't do that.

 

[teechar]

@Sebbi: If you have anything to say about financial hardship or such, then please write a little paragraph about it and post it below. We don't know your circumstances, so we can't write that for you. If you don't want to add anything, then we can take a look at the letter as it stands. What do you want to do?

 

[Sebbi]

I have no idea what your main sentence means. If it's an "application fee waiver form" (which is what you called it), then the main point of it should be the application and basis for your believing your fee should be waived. That appears nowhere in your piece.

You said "I would appreciate it if it would be coined in the application for me". That means nothing. Are you trying to ask us to write the application for you? If so, we can't and won't do that.

@Sebbi: If you have anything to say about financial hardship or such, then please write a little paragraph about it and post it below. We don't know your circumstances, so we can't write that for you. If you don't want to add anything, then we can take a look at the letter as it stands. What do you want to do?

Please go ahead and review it as it stands.
Thanks

 

[teechar]

This letter outlines my interest in applying for the Mastercard Foundation Scholars Program, an Application Fee Waiver for 1 December 2022.

Since my school days, I have always had a passion for technological and scientific knowledge, a burning desire to succeed, and a strong intention to become a technical professional. A career related to technology has always been my goal. For this reason, I decided to do a bachelor’s in Mathematics Education and a Higher National Diploma (HND) in Statistics & Mathematics, respectively.

Over the years of working as the District Statistics Officer for XXX and XXX, I realized that the majority of headteachers at both private and public elementary schools are unable to deliver timely, accurate, and efficient data due to a lack of proper record-keeping, and understanding of data value- creation chains. These issues impede the generation of statistics and data necessary for successful planning and decision-making for schools and the wider district.

Therefore, I believe that the MPhil in Data Intensive Science at the University of Cambridge would be an effective and perfectly suited program to help me tackle the above-mentioned problem in my country. This research master’s would help me gain theoretical knowledge and practical experience, and become an expert in statistical data analysis, machine learning and AI, as well as to research computing and software development.

I believe that my strong background in data analytics, statistics, and mathematics gives me the necessary skillset and learning capacity to be a suitable candidate for your graduate program.



Part 2: Additional Information (limit 150 words)

Organizations in all sectors face an avalanche of digital data. When data has been processed and analyzed, interpreted, accessed, and shared to suit organizational needs and goals becomes information and knowledge that can be used to make informed decisions.

A report also published by the EU Data Market Study estimates that the “number of data users will reach more than 1.3 million in 2020, while the overall data market will likely be €111 billion under high growth conditions”. This is why professionals with the skills, knowledge, competency, and experience in the use of scientific methods, processes, algorithms, and systems to extract insight and knowledge from complex, structured, and unstructured data are needed. I am driven to fill this demand, and a Mastercard Foundation Scholars Program for an MPhil in Data Intensive Science at the University of Cambridge would provide me with the essential competence to succeed in this field.

 

[Sebbi]

This letter outlines my interest in applying for the Mastercard Foundation Scholars Program, an Application Fee Waiver for 1 December 2022.

Since my school days, I have always had a passion for technological and scientific knowledge, a burning desire to succeed, and a strong intention to become a technical professional. A career related to technology has always been my goal. For this reason, I decided to do a bachelor’s in Mathematics Education and a Higher National Diploma (HND) in Statistics & Mathematics, respectively.

Over the years of working as the District Statistics Officer for XXX and XXX, I realized that the majority of headteachers at both private and public elementary schools are unable to deliver timely, accurate, and efficient data due to a lack of proper record-keeping, and understanding of data value- creation chains. These issues impede the generation of statistics and data necessary for successful planning and decision-making for schools and the wider district.

Therefore, I believe that the MPhil in Data Intensive Science at the University of Cambridge would be an effective and perfectly suited program to help me tackle the above-mentioned problem in my country. This research master’s would help me gain theoretical knowledge and practical experience, and become an expert in statistical data analysis, machine learning and AI, as well as to research computing and software development.

I believe that my strong background in data analytics, statistics, and mathematics gives me the necessary skillset and learning capacity to be a suitable candidate for your graduate program.



Part 2: Additional Information (limit 150 words)

Organizations in all sectors face an avalanche of digital data. When data has been processed and analyzed, interpreted, accessed, and shared to suit organizational needs and goals becomes information and knowledge that can be used to make informed decisions.

A report also published by the EU Data Market Study estimates that the “number of data users will reach more than 1.3 million in 2020, while the overall data market will likely be €111 billion under high growth conditions”. This is why professionals with the skills, knowledge, competency, and experience in the use of scientific methods, processes, algorithms, and systems to extract insight and knowledge from complex, structured, and unstructured data are needed. I am driven to fill this demand, and a Mastercard Foundation Scholars Program for an MPhil in Data Intensive Science at the University of Cambridge would provide me with the essential competence to succeed in this field.

I am much grateful to you. In fact, I`m short of words about how the write-up turned out finally. God bless you all.

 

[emsr2d2]

I am much very grateful to you. In fact, I'm short of words speechless about how the write-up turned out finally.