Diary - I saw a creepy scene while I was walking by an apartment

[Maybo]

This is an entry from my diary. Please check it and correct any mistakes.

I saw a creepy scene while walking through an estate early this morning. A women sat in front of the window in her apartment and there were a lot of flowers surrounding her. It looked exactly like a mourning hall! The women was still and stared at the street. As I got closer to her apartment, I avoided to have eye contact with her because I didn't want her to notice me.

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

I avoided eye contact....

Also, try:

The woman sat still, staring out the window.

The original is okay, but that fits better with the tone of the novel we're writing.

 

[emsr2d2]

I don't know what a "mourning hall" is. We don't use the phrase in English.

Saying that she sat "in front of the window" makes it sound as if she's outside. If she's inside, facing the outdoors, say that she was sitting "in the window".

 

[Maybo]

I don't know what a "mourning hall" is. We don't use the phrase in English.

Something like this.

 

[emsr2d2]

Something like this.

Are those found in people's homes or somewhere like a funeral parlour?

 

[Maybo]

Are those found in people's homes or somewhere like a funeral parlour?

In a funeral parlour. There is usually a room in a funeral parlour for dead people’s families or relatives for mourning. In the room, the dead person’s photo will be shown and decorated with flowers.

 

[emsr2d2]

We don't have quite the same thing in the UK. If someone's body is at a funeral home and the family want to visit, the body is moved into a separate room just for the duration of the visit. After that, it's taken back to the main part of the mortuary to be kept in cold storage. I've never gone to see a dead body so I don't know if the room is decorated in any way but it seems to me that that would be far too time-consuming for the staff.

 

[Tarheel]

I've been to a funeral a time or two. Each body (the deceased) has a separate room where the mourners go to pay their last respects. The room is always decorated with flowers that are sent there by private individuals.

 

[Tarheel]

The woman sat still, staring out the window.

@Maybo
Seems kind of creepy, right? You could expand that, thus: "The woman sat still, staring out the window at nothing particular."

Maybe Norman Bates will make an appearance. (Google "Psycho".)

 

[Maybo]

@Maybo
Seems kind of creepy, right? You could expand that, thus: "The woman sat still, staring out the window at nothing particular."

Maybe Norman Bates will make an appearance. (Google "Psycho".)

Right!
The most creepiest part was that there were some other people passed by but they didn’t seem to notice her. Maybe I was the only one who saw her.

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

The creepiest part was that there were other people passing by, but they didn't seem to notice her.

Maybe she's a ghost, and for some reason you're the only one who saw her.

 

[tedmc]

"An estate" usually refers to a oil palm estate where I am from. In HK, you probably mean a highrise residential estate, but that's not what most native speakers are familiar with.

 

[Tarheel]

@Maybo
I missed "estate" entirely. I'm not sore what you mean by that.

 

[Maybo]

"An estate" usually refers to a oil palm estate where I am from. In HK, you probably mean a highrise residential estate, but that's not what most native speakers are familiar with.

Yes. A housing estate like this. How do native speakers call it? @tedmc @Tarheel

 

[tedmc]

I would call that (highrise) apartment blocks.

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

What do native speakers call it?

I couldn't think of anything, but @tedmc came to the rescue.

 

[emsr2d2]

An "estate" in the UK is usually a collection of houses that were all built at the same time, in about the last 50 years, and where all the houses look much the same. They can be council-run or privately owned.

 

[Tarheel]

I'm not familiar with that usage. (It could be an American English/British English difference. I'm not certain.) I'm only familiar with its use as a legal term -- the estate somebody leaves when he/she dies.

 

[5jj]

In a funeral parlour. There is usually a room in a funeral parlour for dead people’s families or relatives for mourning. In the room, the dead person’s photo will be shown and decorated with flowers.

I'd call this a chapel of rest.