Doohickies will have used every plant of jungle [Grammar]

[Rollercoaster1]

Until any vaccine for the COVID-19 is discovered, Doohickies will have used every plant of jungle for making kahwa tea (to prevent getting affected by the virus) but they won't wear masks.

A herb called 'sana makki' has recently been claimed, by a Brit-Pakistani, to have cured patients suffering from COVID-19. The sentences above are a satirical expression about the people/nation of a country. I have used the term 'Doohickies' so that I don't hurt anyone's feelings. Is there anything wrong, in terms of English grammar, with the sentences above?

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Until a vaccine for the COVID-19 is discovered, Doohickies will use every type of plant in the jungle to make kahwa tea to prevent getting infected by the virus, but they won't wear masks.

A herb called sana makki has recently been claimed [no comma] by a Brit-Pakistani [no comma] to have cured patients suffering from COVID-19.

The sentences above are a satirical expression about the people of a country. I have used the term 'Doohickies' so that I don't hurt anyone's feelings. Is there anything wrong, in terms of English grammar, with the sentences above?

In the first sentence, if they used every plant in the jungle, the jungle would become a desert. You probably mean every plant variety, every type of plant. But there are so many kinds of plants in a jungle that it would be impossible to brew a tea using all of them. So are you sure you mean use? Would try be a better verb?

I'm not sure what you mean by Brit-Pakistani. Does it mean a British Pakistani? In the US, a British American is an American born in the UK or of British descent.

Also, the second sentence is convoluted. More direct: A Brit-Pakistani has recently claimed to have cured COVID-19 patients, using the herb sana makki.

 

[GoesStation]

Americans don't pronounce the H in "herb", so we write an herb.

 

[probus]

I didn't know that doohickey was not part of British English. A doohickey is a thingamajigger, a thingamabob, a whatchmacallit. Usage must be different in Pakistan. We would not call a person a doohickey.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

I didn't know that doohickey was not part of British English. A doohickey is a thingamajigger, a thingamabob, a whatchmacallit. Usage must be different in Pakistan. We would not call a person a doohickey.

Don't forget us widgets!

 

[Skrej]

I'm waiting for the round tuits to unionize and strike for more vacation.

 

[Rollercoaster1]

In the first sentence, if they used every plant in the jungle, the jungle would become a desert. You probably mean every plant variety, every type of plant. But there are so many kinds of plants in a jungle that it would be impossible to brew a tea using all of them. So are you sure you mean use? Would try be a better verb?

Yeah, 'try' sounds better.

I'm not sure what you mean by Brit-Pakistani. Does it mean a British Pakistani? In the US, a British American is an American born in the UK or of British descent.

A British Pakistani. I used 'Brit' as an informal/short term for 'British'.

 

[Rollercoaster1]

All that did is make me wonder what the heck 'doohickies' might be.

'Doohickey' is a North American term used when you don't recall the name of an object or thing. I thought it can be used for a person too.

 

[Rollercoaster1]

I didn't know that doohickey was not part of British English. A doohickey is a thingamajigger, a thingamabob, a whatchmacallit. Usage must be different in Pakistan. We would not call a person a doohickey.

What noun can I use to refer to those people?

 

[GoesStation]

You can call people from a fictional country Fredonians without the risk of causing offense.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Hail, hail, Fredonia, land of the brave and free!:

 

[probus]

ROLLER, I don't know why you are worried about offending such people. Egregiously stupid behaviour calls for strong language. Avoiding profanity, I'd call them fools, boneheads, cementheads, idiots, morons or some such.

 

[Rollercoaster1]

ROLLER, I don't know why you are worried about offending such people. Egregiously stupid behaviour calls for strong language. Avoiding profanity, I'd call them fools, boneheads, cementheads, idiots, morons or some such.

I just felt it's not right to name them openly.

 

[Yankee]

Or "know-it-alls".

 

[GoesStation]

I'm waiting for the round tuits to unionize and strike for more vacation.

My 7th-grade science teacher was a rather corpulent gentleman named Mr. Tuitt.